Crystal K. Li
Nov 2 · 2 min read

For me, different stories and different pieces of writing fall into different categories. There are some stories I just want to write — and in fact I hoard some stories and never want to share them with others. (I’m not saying this is a healthy thing, mind you. ;) )

Then there are the stories that I’m inspired to write specifically because I want to connect with others — it’s not the desire to simply write the story that drives me, but the desire to share something with others, so my audience is necessary. Writing these stories is something like being an actor: No, I wouldn’t act to an empty room, because the acting is incomplete without an audience to receive it.

I totally empathize with your Medium limbo, though; did I infect you, after all? ;)

I don’t think there’s a thing wrong with wanting your stories to be heard, either. The need to connect and the need to be validated are 100 percent legitimate human needs, and the purpose of words is, I believe, to express our ideas outside ourselves; otherwise we wouldn’t need words at all. My personal take is that the danger of wanting to be heard is letting that (totally legitimate) desire distract you from your desire to express yourself authentically. There’s a difference between being interested in being heard and being concerned with whether you are being heard, after all.

Like, I can want a new red dress, and that’s perfectly healthy. But if I start to worry about whether I’ll ever get the red dress, or about whether other people’s red dresses are nicer than mine, or about whether I’ll even look good in the red dress, or whether people will like me when I wear the red dress, I’m transforming a positive into a negative. It’s not the desire for the red dress that’s unhealthy; it’s what I do with it, you know?

Of course, some people write to clarify their thoughts, or to record them for personal use, or just for the joy of playing with words and ideas, or for the joy of creating the story itself. I’m not saying we all need to be obsessed with being heard … but I do think that there’s some implication that a story is written to be shared. And I think that’s fine. It’s just what you do with the desire to share that determines if it affects you positively or negatively.

Crystal K. Li

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