Trust Factor

How to trust again? That’s kind of a hard thing to get back once it has been lost. Don’t you think? The way I see it is that once someone has betrayed your trust they have to work and I mean really work hard to get it back. How can you learn to trust someone again?

My trust was broken a while ago. What has been done to regain my trust? Half hearted efforts is not going to do the trick, let me tell you that one. Constantly holding your device close to you as you text, search, etc. is not going to do it either. Running “errands” and not giving me a general idea of what it is or how long you will be back isn't going to do it either. Coming back home smelling of sex is most definitely NOT going go to do it!

Here’s how ones trust can be regained:

Be An Open Book : When your partner wants to know what you are reading on your email or looking at on your screen they just want to know that they can trust you. That you are not secretly texting that other person or making plans to meet up with that other person. It’s validation that you're fully committed to your relationship with your partner. For crying out loud, if you have betrayed your partner’s trust, don't go looking up profiles of other people that your partner may consider a threat to your relationship. If you value and respect your partner let them look at your screen. If you can't show your partner what you are looking at, then should you really be looking at it?

Be Courteous: If your partner asks where you are going and when you will be back home please don’t read more into it. Let them know for crying out loud and when you return tell them how things went. There is a good chance that you ask the same when they leave the house. This helps the trust factor and also creates an open dialogue between you two.

PDA: Be genuine about it especially in public. Your friends just might pick up that there is something “off” between the two of you. Actually, chances are that your close friends will notice. Showing affection that is genuine will help to rebuild the bridge between you two. Go ahead and knock down that wall! Hold hands, hug, sit close to one another, there are so many things that you can do to show your partner that you are still “interested” in them. Don’t be afraid to cuddle! Affection is essential to rebuilding the bond between the two of you.

Friends are Important: Your partner is your best friend. Treat your partner as you would your closest friend, with respect, trust, and kindness. Who else will put up with all your quirks and still be there for you. Talk to your partner as you would your best friend. Tell them everything, well most everything, even if it’s uncomfortable for you to talk about. When your partner questions you, take this opportunity to have a nice talk and be open with your partner. This helps to not just rebuild the trust but also the bond between the two of you.

Don't let’s the Karen’s of the world tear you and your partner apart. Just because others don't respect the sacredness of your relationship, doesn't mean that you don't have to as well. Once trust has been broken, it is hard to get it back. You have to work hard at it. Your partner has to be open to your efforts as well. Regaining trust is a two way streak. Now go and tell your partner that you love them!