Mirror by Mahek Jangda
Performed at the weekly open mic at the popular space, The Habitat Studios, Mahek Jangda’s poem Mirror is a raw and heartbreakingly real account of her struggles with self-love, self-esteem and body image issues. Mahek’s performance, especially the oral aspect of it, is clear, controlled and calculated. While being precise in its endeavour of expressing raw emotions, Mahek’s performance does not refrain from becoming impassioned when the need arises. As the viewer watches the performance, they cannot help but relate to Mahek’s experience and struggles that she tries to illustrate through her heartfelt poetry.
Mahek begins her poem through the description of a moment of self-reflection, aptly illustrated through the act of looking into a mirror. During the moment of self-reflection, Mahek talks about how she does not see her reflection in the mirror and in doing so, she mourns and feels the loss of a self that she knows, that she recognises. A major part of the poem constitutes an explanation as to how Mahek got to such a place of alienation from her very self.
While Mahek’s struggles are unique to her, a loss of self, an inability to coherently identify yourself is an experience quite common to almost every teenager in the world. As a person transitions from childhood to adulthood, they pass through teenage which becomes a period of transition, a shedding of the identity of childhood and the painful process of claiming and defining an adult identity. Mahek describes this pain and confusion beautifully through her words.
The poet, Mahek, then proceeds to describe her childhood dream of becoming an actor which she never pursued on account of her weight or rather, her body image issues. This dream quite obviously symbolises her childhood and her body image issues point towards the pains of growing up in a world which demands perfection from its people. Mahek explains that it wasn’t the people who led to the first instance of loss of a self (that is, her dream) but it was her own insecurities that were her undoing. When she describes the act of shedding a skin (losing a part of herself), the viewers feel goosebumps rising on their arms.
Then, Mahek describes the second instance of loss of a self, of shedding of a skin. When a younger Mahek declared that she wanted to change the world, she was made to feel small by the people around her. She was stripped of her feelings of uniqueness, that is, of things that defined her from the rest of the world. If she was not a unique individual, then who was she? How can one define oneself without being able to claim differences from the crowds of human beings that exist today?
This loss of self, as Mahek further describes, results in numerous missed opportunities and an inability to move forward in the path of life. Without a coherent and defined sense of self, a person cannot make choices to fulfil the need to do something that defines themselves. As Mahek demonstrates, this is a vicious cycle.
Self-victimization is a drug, she says, and in doing so, refuses to continue this habit. As the poem progresses, Mahek Jangda drops some revelations that are much needed yet surprising. She rejects the habit of complaining and cribbing about the unfortunate and difficult experiences of her life. Instead, she chooses to take charge of her life and stop the vicious cycle of shedding parts of her self due to her insecurities and then blaming the loss on life or on circumstances. Mahek advocates the need to move on with your life and to avoid looking for reasons or excuses for not pursuing your dreams.
As she draws her poem to a clattering and powerful finale, Mahek once again describes her act of self-reflection. However, this time she no longer mourns the layers she has shed or the selves she has lost. On the contrary, she makes a conscious choice to leave her pain in the past and to enjoy the journey of self-exploration of the person she has become. Leaving her loss, her pain and her past behind becomes an act of liberation for Mahek as her mirror of her mind shatters allowing her to escape from its confines, finally happy.
This powerful poem by Mahek Jangda takes you on a journey from a place of desolation and self-loathing to a place of self-love. She highlights the importance of leaving your trauma, your experiences in the past and beginning anew. Mahek Jangda also shows how crucial it is to give up the habit of self-victimisation in order to become better and fuller versions of yourself. This poem is a challenging yet rewarding journey that every person must undertake at some point in their lives.
Watch Mahek Jangda’s poem here:
Written By: Maitreyee Mhatre
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