Meghan Howland, Self With Curtain

I woke up choking on the air that carries night into day. Openly wounded and swimming in my own blood. Yesterday I shot the lifeguard. Today I am sinking in my center. No one to save me now.

Swallow the pain or drown in it.

Everything inside of me feels like sand. A million different parts. So many pieces that I’m permanently falling apart. A castle built where the lips of the ocean kiss the shore.

Suffocating on thoughts. How do I move passed my own two feet? No step I take can ever get me passed myself. How do I escape my demons when I am their creator? Their mother.

I was born an angel with cement wings so my religion called me the work of the devil. My roots are deep but weak. I’m starting to think this soil is poisoned. I wanted to free fall and now I’m sky diving. Falling in love with the moon and forgetting about the sun. Still, morning always comes.

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