I wish to be me

I’m happy ,

Even when I’m sad.

I smile ,

Even when I’m mad.

I hide my emotions too well,

But this is only till I start to yell!

I’m done being fake!!

I’m done doing good for everybody’s sake!!

I’m done being perfect!!

It’s no one else but me who bears its effect…

I have always been winning,

But now my head is just spinning.

I lost,

Yes! Even if it’s just a practice,

I still lost!!

The sadder are these cases,

The sadder is to look at disappointed faces.

All those concerned ones,

Looked like the mocking guns.

Some say it’s fine,

Some say I can do better,

I’m the one who is wearing this expectation sweater…

Some suggests,

Some scolds,

I am really trying to fit in those perfection molds!!

But I still smile,

Hiding my pain behind a vile.

Optimism is what I go for,

Optimism is my only personality!

If I broke down,

I won’t belong to this town.

If I frown,

My friends won’t have me around.

I won’t be able to cheer them up.

I won’t be their happiness cup.

They’ll soon be gone,

I’ll soon be alone.

Someone told me

The future will make me good but hollow.

It’s the pain that I swallow.

It might seem crazy,

But this is me.

All my pain is my imagination,

All the villains are my creation.

Those are all the concerned guns,

I am the only mocking one.

I am so stuck in my void,

Now I’m being paranoid.

Is it really my speech,

Or a victimized screech??