Damn, it’s almost like these Drake lyrics is ‘bout me, tho.

This “Fake Love” joint? Me.

Nick Matthews
Drake (left) making a face I make, too. Drake (right) loves to have fun, like me. Crazy.

Have you caught these bars from Drizzy off the new one? I been down so long it look like up to me.

Since me and Lisa, it’s just been like fam has my heart scribbled in his Notes app.

I told Simone to cut that off at work, because I can’t rent cars with that on. It’s been a no Drake tracks policy at Budget Rental since Monday. Simone’s mad, but she doesn’t know that Drake high key got me in my feelings off one bar.

And the thing I can’t fathom? How it’s so specific and means a lot. He slid in my perspectives like he been there. Down lookin’ like up? That’s a pretty specific emotion to be conveying through song. Who that even happens to? Just pretty much me since Lisa. Blue been green. Ducks been geese and shit. Damn.

And it’s not the first time Drake had wrote my life.

I like when money makes a difference, but don’t make you different.

That’s how I felt when Dawn took me off the lot and made me Rental Sales Associate. Like, the dough was nice, but really it was me still. Point blank. Who else you know gets a 30 cent per hour raise and still eats lunch in the break room? Me and Drake because that’s where the fridge be.

They always say the hottest love has the coldest end.

C’mon. That’s Lisa. We did it on the trampoline at her cousin’s graduation open house, bro. Sizzle. Now she can’t even respond to my 13-page handwritten letter? Brrr.

I just gave out Grammys on my Instagram.

I’ve literally done this. Only it was my nephew’s bike, I did it on Craigslist, and I asked for thirty-five dollars in return. We the same.

Let me leave you with this (Lisa, please listen).

You’re a good girl and you know it / You act so different around me / You’re a good girl and you know it / I know exactly who you could be

It’s three people that relate to this koan: me, Drake, and Bill Gates. That’s who Drake writes for. Him, me, Bill Gates.

Bill knew exactly what personal computers could be. I know exactly what me and Lisa could be. Soulmates. Or at least cordial acquaintances who share Apple Music because this new Drake project drops Saturday and I don’t really have the $9.99 a month right now.

Call me, baby.

Nick Matthews

Written by

I write comedy. https://medium.com/@writefunnytoday and https://medium.com/@EagleShield

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