Also read : The best decision I made in my 20s
I’ll be completely honest and tell my story of the things I should’ve avoided in my early 20s. Hopefully, you don’t swallow similar things as I did. Or even if you have, you can roll up your sleeves again and move on.
The mistakes I’ve made that you can avoid:
- Listen to others too much and become a people pleaser
I used to think that a good person is someone who can make everyone happy, one of the ways by always taking into account what others think of me. Not everyone is a good advisor, some of them could just state their ideas, deliver harsh criticism because they’re having a bad day, or be jealous of the progress you’ve made.
During university, I was a student who was actively involved in the class. One day, a classmate said that ‘I’m being too much’ and stated that ‘my English accent doesn’t suit me’. Since that day, I resist myself to speak up and adjust myself to the majority’s opinion for the sake to be accepted.
You couldn’t make everyone happy. Being a people pleaser such as putting others’ wishes above yourself or always being a ‘yes girl’ or ‘yes man’ will lead you to be used or disrespected.
A lesson I learned: Don’t let others’ opinions define who you are. You shouldn’t change yourself to make people accept you. People who share similar energy and visions as you will always like you for who you are. People should be responsible for their happiness, not you.
2. Being a professional procrastinator
Have you ever experienced that you have so much to do but instead of doing your work you take a nap or scroll your social media?
Relax, you’re not alone. That’s me most of the time, and as Taylor Swift says, “It’s me HI! I’m the problem it’s me”.
I was not only a beginner or part-time dawdler but an expert on that. I wrote my exam essays just a few hours before the submission time. I learned TPA (a kind of GRE for university entrance) a day before the test. I finish the first chapter of my thesis in almost 6 months because I barely write any sentences. I always wait until the very last time as my brain seek out ‘dopamine’ from doing unimportant tasks.
What does it cost me? My future, my health, and my mental health.
In the end, I realize that I’m running out of time and left behind by others. I rush myself to reach the end however I’m clueless since I’m not even started. Trust me, this feeling is torture! To make it worse, I’m the one who did this to myself. I should’ve used my time wisely.
A lesson I learned: The best time to do your work is NOW! If you stop walking today, you have to run tomorrow. But no one could make sure you’re in a good condition or the weather is bright enough for you to run.
3. Be a Perfectionist
Nobody is perfect and that’s the reality. I always don’t believe in this notion until I prove it myself. Perfectionist mindset can make a very good friend with the act of a procrastinator, they join forces, and creates an unhappy-messy life.
It is better to start something so scrappy rather than waiting for the best skill and situations to come to support you. In the end, you will learn during the process, and it is very okay.
A lesson I learned: Being 20s is the time when your life is just beginning. Take some time to try, experience, and make mistakes. We are full of flaws anyway, and that is what makes our life more colorful.
4. Do not invest in your health
For me, the best thing about being 20s is the freedom, the energy, and the enthusiasm to do many things. Alas! This is include: eating unhealthy food, embodying an unhealthy lifestyle, and staying in a toxic environment.
In the early 20s, we often take for granted of how great our health is in the young age. I was hospitalized a few times because I didn’t take care of my health properly. Everything that seems important is not important when you get sick, and it’s hard to live to the fullest without your best condition. Health issues could give long-term negative effects on your stamina, and body conditions.
A lesson I learned: pay good attention to your food & nutrition, surround yourself with a positive environment, and light sport is one of the best activities to keep you fit and stay in shape. Investing in your health is as important as investing in education.
5. Attach too much on people and possession
It is common in the 20s you wish to have many things such as the newest gadget or follow the trends of public figures. The negative side is many people in their early 20s (including me) do not have a stable income. Following a lifestyle which doesn’t in line with your income could suffer your financial condition.
#Tips 1: only purchase a good tech that supports your productivity.
#Tips 2: never buy something to satisfy your ego or impress others.
However, the thing I regret the most was the hope and expectation I create for others like ‘fake’ friends, or your ‘uncertain’ romantic interest. Attach feelings and trust too much could waste your time and energy which you can use to develop yourself better.
A lesson I learned: everything in this world is temporary including the trendiest technology, friendships, or love story. The one you should rely upon is yourself. Less expectation of others can protect you from an unecessary ‘broken heart’.
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Hey, why are you so serious? :)
