Sex is Not a Commodity I “Sell” to Men in Exchange for Worth
I was taught that men took something when we had sex but I’ve resisted
It should be no surprise that sex confused me growing up. Ever since I realized I would someday have it (around puberty), I was bombarded with contradicting messages. On one hand, I was told women wanted sex very much. I was shown this through imagery almost everywhere I looked. Red lips, big breasts, shiny hair, fluttering eyelashes. Female sexuality was used to sell almost everything, and even as an adolescent I understood this. I was taught that the female desires and is desired. I read article after article in my teen magazines about females and their sexual wants and urges. Women were pleasure-seeking creatures. This — if I could believe what I saw in fashion magazines.
My day-to-day reality was very different. You would think I’d grown up in a different country — a different planet. My mother expressed embarrassment when even talking about sex. In high school we were lectured in sex-ed classes: “Wait till you’re ready.” “If he really likes you he’ll wait.” At least the girls got this lecture back in the eighties. And this wasn’t even Catholic school! But why were we lectured this? Would sex hurt me when I finally had it? What would I lose if I had it and wasn’t ready? Ready for what?
