SAY IT LOUD, SAY IT CLEAR, SAY IT NOW

I grew up in a community and society where “respecting our Elders” was a core tenet. Being of Indian origin, I learned early to physically bow down and touch the feet of my Elders when I meet them. This is called “Charan Sparsh,” an act that symbolizes our humility and respect for the wisdom and knowledge offered by our Elders. Speaking Swahili, being raised in Tanzania, I formally greeted each Elder with “Shikamoo” (“I respect you”). I respected the saying in Swahili that goes “Honor the Elders, Even if they are not Yours.” Perhaps I was conditioned, but mostly I deeply admire Elders because they have carved their path in life ahead of me, shared lessons I have yet to learn, and persevered through the challenges life has thrown at them. And best of all, they are willing to teach me by sharing their experiences.

The lessons I carry the most with me, were taught to me by Mami (in photo, with her great-grandson), my grandmother’s sister-in-law. Today she is almost ninety, and spends her days indoors, cared for lovingly by her son and his family. Mami was always an instrumental character in my life’s drama, growing up. But forever etched in my memory are the moments after my father’s sudden passing, of an accident, when Mami quietly lit the diya (the cotton ball lamp filled with ghee) next to my father’s photograph, as I sat sobbing nearby. It was to ensure that my father’s soul…