5 WAYS TO COPE WITH LIVING AWAY FROM FAMILY WHEN HAVING A BABY
I moved from Germany to Australia in 2018 to live there with my partner. Early 2020 I became a mum. Having a baby in a country you don’t know very well and without having any of your family close-by is hard. Here are some tips that helped me feel comfortable being a new mum in this situation:
BUILD YOUR OWN SUPPORT NETWORK
Even though I have my partners parents and friends live near us, I needed to be with people that were in the same situation as myself.
On Facebook, I have met two of my very good friends. At the time, they just became new mums as well and they are also German.
Although I have made Australian friends over time as well, people who moved away from their home country to live overseas understand your pain and worries so much better.
Check out your local expat community or new mum groups on Facebook to connect to other parents. Once you know a few people, they might introduce you to their friends and that way you get to know more people around your area.
Leaving the house, having regular social interactions and asking for advice is so important.
INCLUDE YOUR FAMILY IN YOUR DAILY LIFE
For me this means doing a lot of video calls throughout the week and on the weekends, sending pictures and videos or having my daughter draw something for my mum or my dad (which is of course a scribble but they are happy to receive anything).
Sometimes it’s hard to do a video call because of the time difference and as life with a baby gets really busy, it takes organizational skills and self-discipline to make it happen on a regular basis.
MAKE PLANS AND CHERISH THE MEMORIES
My mum came to visit us in Australia when my daughter was 6 weeks old. She stayed for 3 weeks and we all had a wonderful time together. Then the pandemic hit and no one was allowed to enter or exit Australia for 1.5 years.
As soon as Australia announced they would open up again in November 2021, I made plans to travel to Germany with my daughter. Looking forward to this trip made it so much easier for me being overseas. I ended up staying in Germany for 7 weeks including Christmas, New Years and even my daughter’s birthday.
All those special days on one journey! Make sure to take lots of photos and videos when you visit your family or when they come to visit you. Create a separate album for those on your phone, that way you can look at them any time you want to and show them to your little one as they grow up.
REMEMBER THE BENEFITS FOR YOUR CHILD BY LIVING OVERSEAS
For your child to be raised in another country means they learn another language next to the one which is spoken in your home country and they probably get another passport too. This opens up so many possibilities to them when they get older.
Going on a plane to visit your family overseas every so often will make them learn about traveling, different time zones, other nationalities and the world in general. Just keep remembering this and you won’t feel so guilty about living away from your family.
If you need tips on flying with a toddler (especially by yourself like I did), check out my post:
NOTHING IS FOREVER
For me this means there is a possibility for myself, my partner and our daughter to be going back to Germany in the next couple of years to be re-united with my family. I think it’s only fair that my partner stays flexible on his location too since I moved to his country to be with him.
Whatever your situation may be, nothing has to be forever and you might move back home one day and you and your child/children can spend more time with your family.
