#365DaysOfWriting – Day Twenty-Six
There’s something about Malayalis.
After Sreesanth took the catch that made T20 Cricket the most popular money-making sport in the universe, there was a saying doing the rounds – you’ll find a Malayali in every corner of the world (and he took the catch at short fine leg so it made even more sense). Alas, Sreesanth is not quite the role-model Malayalis can look up to any more…
Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is, whenever two Malayalis meet each other in a foreign land (the probability of that happening is 1.5/1) there’s always some spark that ignites a hearty conversation, which begins in chaste Malayalam (more often than not) with the words “Aha! Nee Malayali aa? Evidanna?” (Aha! You’re a Malayali eh? Where are you from?)
Anyway, here are a few things that are likely to happen when two Malayalis meet.
We can talk about anything under the sun.
This is not an idle boast. Given that the average Malayali reads a lot and is up to date with current affairs and general knowledge, a conversation between two such individuals can include anything, right from India’s foreign policy, to communism, fish curry and rice, the theory of relativity, the state of Kerala (not the geographical state, the general state), football, Modi, and did I say communism? Throw in a mandatory discussion about the ‘Gelf’ and we’re set.
No conversation is complete without booze though.
If there is a black market for kidneys, there’s definitely a black market for Malayali livers. I mean, the pounding it can take! Liquor is essential to a good conversation, especially if you want to learn the choicest Malayalam swear words. Explaining rocket science becomes a piece of cake when you’re flying at 2 pegs/minute.
Home is where the holiday destination is.
For the Malayali diaspora, Kerala is a holiday destination. Well, almost. Most of my trips to the state have only involved visits to relatives’ homes and temples – there’s a whole lot more to do. But we’re fiercely proud of our state, no matter what. It is God’s Own Country after all. So a conversation about Kerala has to be on the agenda.
“We are not Madrasis.”
Heaven help you if you ask a Malayali whether he/she is a Madrasi. God have mercy on your soul if you tell it to two of them. Surprisingly, even in today’s ‘evolved’ scenario, this stereotype persists.
Code language: Malayalam
I’ve heard a lot of Malayalis talk in Malayalam the moment they have to talk about a third person in the immediate vicinity. Fortunately for me and unfortunately for them, I understand the code fairly well. But an entire conversation in Malayalam is a must. It’s the unwritten Malayali bro-code.
