#365DaysOfWriting — Day Two
It’s Day Two, and I’m already at work. I look at all the empty seats around me and realise that I’ve been coming to work a lot earlier than most people. It helps though that I live just 5 minutes away…
Anyway, coming to the topic of the day. Yesterday, I spoke of the necessity for a childlike streak even as you grow old. Today, I’m going to talk about a weakness of mine — I’m very non-confrontational. And yes, I’m trying to fix it, but it’s difficult.
Even as a child, I was always taught to walk away from a fight — “nothing good ever came out from a fight”, or “walk away, you’ll only fall into trouble” were common phrases of ‘wisdom’ I kept hearing all the time. I’ve also been told that I’m TOO patient and that I suffer fools gladly. That comes from a lifetime of ‘trying to be the nice guy’. Yes, I’m a guy who tries to keep everyone happy. I know it doesn’t work, but it’s just how I am.
It’s fear that does it. I’ve feared the consequences of being wrong for far too long. What if it doesn’t work out? What if I make a fool of myself? What if I make too many enemies?
I’m a 30-year-old, and I still have these fears.
How does one NOT give a damn though? How does one dispel that fear? How does one learn to take conflict in one’s stride? It’s so hard (a voice in my head says — who told you that it was going to be easy?)
Too many questions. No real answer. I guess it has to come from within. I have to start being the ‘bad guy’. Not a Thanos-level bad guy, but a Clint Eastwood-level anti-hero bad guy. And the first step in that is learning to say no with conviction. I’ve been a little like Jim Carrey from Yes Man, saying yes to almost everything, and then failing at a lot of things. Ideally, I should say yes to only the things I WANT or NEED to do.
Okay then, I’m going to try and say no from now on (not just for the heck of it, of course). I’ll report here with my progress in a few months from now.
What else on Day Two? Oh, I can’t, here comes my boss… signing off now, see you guys tomorrow! And today’s moral of the story is — learn to say NO. ;)
