Published inHuman Parts·PinnedMember-onlyClassic VinylHow a former rock goddess unlocked the secrets of my adoptee past. My math, which is admittedly sub-par, put Barb at about sixty-eight. My mind painted her as grey-haired, apple-cheeked, and grandmotherly. I expected a whisper of a woman–a sort of folksong, maybe smooth jazz. I got nothing of the…Memoir9 min readMemoir9 min read
Published inThe Narrative Arc·PinnedMember-onlyHow I Finally Met My MotherI refuse to scatter her ashes — An ocean beside us. An ocean between us. My biological mother and I left footprints in the same sand but were lost to each other. The riptide of the closed adoption system forever pulled us apart, even on our shared shore. Born in Chicago and relinquished at birth, I was…Adoption7 min readAdoption7 min read
Published inThe Memoirist·PinnedMember-onlyTethered: The Birthmother EffectThat time I moved practically next door to my biological mother & still never met her. For years, I looked upon Los Angeles as a bad boyfriend — an unfortunate entanglement I struggled to escape. From the late 90s through the early Aughts, (my late twenties to early thirties) we…Adoption7 min readAdoption7 min read
Published inILLUMINATION·Aug 5misnomerIf you never knew your name, would you ever know yourself? — I leafed through the mail as if it were any other day, unaware my world was about to collapse. I flipped past the thin, nondescript white envelope nestled between bills and circulars, stopped (I swear I heard a record scratch.), and thumbed back. It was addressed to me from the…Adoption6 min readAdoption6 min read
Jun 9Does Not ApplyLiving Life With No Backstory — (Note: This story was also published in Severance Magazine (severancemag.com) in April 2023.) “It’s one of the best profiles I’ve ever seen,” she says. Well swipe right I think, but it’s not that type of profile. I’m Zooming with my super-fancy genetic scientist doctor. I would think her a total…5 min read5 min read
May 27Member-onlyFizzle (On Coming Out of Adoption’s Fog …or Not)A Note: In this piece, I make light of my own depression and experiences, BUT I am by no means discounting trauma, depresssion (including Seasonal Affective Disorder) medications, therapy, or EMDR ( Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing ) which can be helpful in processing trauma — including the pre-verbal trauma…Adoption5 min readAdoption5 min read
Apr 11Member-onlyA Sort of Homecoming: The Fractured Fairytale of AdoptionAdoption always begins in loss ……. “Oh no, Mama — you got the wrong baby!” It was April 11, 1969, and my new insta-brother was inconsolable. He was six and three-quarters years old and in full-on little kid meltdown mode. Days earlier, his mother had told him, “Okay, honey you…Adoption8 min readAdoption8 min read
Apr 11What She Left Me When She Left MeKeepsakes From My First Mother It’s been with me for over fifty years now. Through ups, downs, moves, and marriages, it remains my most treasured antique. It’s just an old shoebox that she gussied up with wrapping paper and modge-podged cutouts of cartoon baby animals. A gorgeous one-of-a-kind adolescent art…Grief3 min readGrief3 min read
Apr 11I Am Motherless Whale(My First Mother’s Ashes, Her Bestie, and SeaWorld)… SeaWorld is still a thing. I know because I took the SeaWorld exit to pick up my first mother’s ashes. Actually, I drove by it to meet her bestie, but I left with her ashes. In a pretty little keepsake box. …Adoption2 min readAdoption2 min read
Apr 11Cue The Sun: My Truman Show LifeA Movie Review/Adoptee Rights Mashup My glasses weren’t exactly rose-colored, but they were the wrong prescription. I see adoption more clearly now, and in previously overlooked places–often hiding in plain sight. I recently rewatched “The Truman Show,” a 1998 film lauded for its artsy take on free will, privacy, and…Adoptee7 min readAdoptee7 min read
