I’d like to tell you to “hang in there”, the kind of thing I’d typically say to someone going through something tough, but I can’t. In this case, I need to say: look out for yourself. This is your life and you get only one.
That’s not to say you don’t have my sympathy (you do). I understand where you are, having been there myself, and I can unequivocally say things are better standing on the other side.
I wish you strength and peace ❤