“Also, if you could stop rubbing up against me, that’d be great.”
Is This How Women Always Feel?
Ryan Hussey
252

I’m going to gender stereotype a bit here, but I’m both jealous and proud that you said this. Jealous of the fact that you had the guts to say this, and proud (for and of) you because this is exactly what you should say.

Now the gender stereotyping: I wonder if you being a man made it easier to say these words. Like, the fact that this was happening to you was so out of the ordinary of your normal life that of course you’d have a reaction like this. As if it’d be absurd of you to just silently slink away and pretend the whole thing didn’t happen. I wonder this because, as a woman, I’m certain I’d do the slink away and try to ignore it thing. I’m certain I wouldn’t speak up unless whatever touching was happening was overtly grabby or aggressive, and even then I don’t know that I’d use my words so clearly. I would have thought, “Did I bump into him?” “Was I leaning over the counter in some kind of suggestive way?” “I don’t want to make a scene so I’ll just get the fuck out of here.”

Maybe the reason I feel this way is not because I’m a woman. Maybe it’s just the type of woman I am. Non-confrontational. Meek. Beta. Fearful of strange men.

Or, maybe it is because I’m a woman. I don’t know, but I know a lot of women feel the way I do. I know a lot of women put up with this behavior for all sorts of reasons. I also think you should read this piece because I identify with the author completely. Her experiences are not unique. I don’t mean that to minimize them, only to say that her experiences are, I’d bet, intimately familiar to every woman.