Impact Online Pornography has on Heterosexual Couples

Are There Issues?

The topic of pornography is a very controversial one. Opinions on what is acceptable and what is not, or whether it’s acceptable at all are hotly debated. It is widely accepted that men like porn and use it much more frequently than women. Is that true? Is porn good for you or is it bad for you? Can you become addicted? Does the attraction to porn pull people out of long-term relationships? Is that dangerous to have so much porn available with kids having access to computers? Does violence in pornography translate to violence in the viewers bedrooms?

With the explosion of the Internet came an explosion of pornography. What one used to pay for and go to an adult bookstore for is now readily available for free at your fingertips. One interesting thing when you consider the popularity of the porn industry it is surprising that it still held in such a controversial light. The number of people’s lives porn touches is quite staggering. By age 17, an overwhelming majority of boys (93 %) and girls (62 %) have been exposed to pornography (Sabina et al., 2008 — Google Search, n.d.), with 66 % of boys and 39 % of girls having seen at least one form of pornography within the past year (X-Rated: Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors Associated With U.S. Early Adolescents’ Exposure to Sexually Explicit Media — Jane D. Brown, Kelly L. L’Engle, 2009, n.d.).

Do We Have Proof?

So how differently do men and women view and use pornography? Well according to most studies Men, on average, consume more pornography than women (Maddox et al., 2011; Muusses et al., 2015; Sun et al., 2016). These studies suggest that men are viewing at least two times the amount of pornography than women. One of the major challenges with finding accurate answers about these questions is that conversation about pornography is still relatively taboo. According to Cooper et al., (1999) their study found that 70% of their sample reported There pornography consumption a secret, and men were more likely than women (72% and 62%, respectively) to not disclose their
pornography consumption to others.

While most men and women, based on the numbers, partake in viewing pornography, how they view it interestingly is not the same. Not surprisingly the context of the pornography did not seem to matter much to men. To some it did not matter if you could see the adult actors faces. On the other hand, women tend to watch couple’s porn with story lines and more of a romantic take on it (Bridges & Morokoff, 2011). Men are much more likely to view it alone women tend to gravitate towards shared experiences with their partners. Interestingly when asked if they had more time to spend with pornography men actually would watch the same or less than they currently are viewing, whereas women would spend more time viewing pornography if their schedule permitted so (Zillmann & Bryant, 1984).

Typically, pornography and its effect on marriage and long-term relationships tend to be viewed in a negative light. At times even being blamed for the reason marriages have ended. But based on studies things are a little more complicated than that. Husbands reported that they turn to pornography more often in relationships that were undesirable or relationships of poor quality (Maddox et al., 2011). An interesting contradiction is that females and wives reported that viewing pornography coincided with Improved sexual equality for women (Journal of Sex Research, 2013). It does not seem, on the other hand, appear that women appreciate men watching porn. As reported by Nathaniel Lambert and others in a review of studies, women whose partners watched porn regularly thought less of those partners and saw porn as more of a threat to the stability of their relationship.

So, what does this mean for marriages and relationships? Well that depends on who you ask. Research does seem to indicate that the most negative effect of pornography on relationships was relationships where men that had the highest frequency of viewership (once or more per day). Proof that there is no simple answers for this is in the fact that in this same study men who watch pornography at least once per day were less likely to get divorced than men that never watch pornography. There is also data that indicates that in marriages where pornography was consumed together the couples felt more satisfaction sexually in their marriage than those that watched alone. It seemed that the real problems tended to arise when one partner viewed pornography at a much higher level than the other. With the overwhelming majority of the time it being men on the higher end.

So, can watching pornography be a problem? Data suggests that there are some major things to be aware of. While both men and women can have issues in relationships because of pornography, the perceived addiction to viewing it seems to be dominated by men (Weinstein et al., 2015). While the jury is still out, there is much debate on whether porn addiction is a diagnosable mental health issue. While it is accepted that overconsumption of pornography is a problem many believe that that is a symptom of an already accepted clinical diagnosis. It has been noted in multiple studies that there is an extremely high rate of ADHD with compulsive sexual behavior disorder or CSBD. Interestingly two reported symptoms of ADHD are hyper sexuality, meaning an unusually high sex drive and hypo sexuality which is the reverse having an unusually low sex drive CITE.

Like any compulsion let out of control it can be a huge problem. When day-to-day acumen and routine become affected by your compulsions it is clear you have a problem. The same can be true of online pornography compulsion. Ana Bridges, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Arkansas is testing concepts to see if there is a way to control excessive pornography use using cognitive behavioral interventions or CBI. CBI is the theory that all behavior is controlled by cognitive processes. Patients would be learning about how they think, about why they think that way, and about how they can think differently to improve issues with their compulsion. Similarly, to drug addiction it seems it takes on the characteristics of incentive motivation this is where addicts seek their addiction because they need it not because they want it. MRI scanning has shown brains of porn addicts are like drug addicts at least in terms of brain activity (V. Voon, 2014). However, this alone doesn’t prove that porn is addictive. One of the major challenges that scientists and doctors run into is they still do not know how to classify the behavior.

What Do We About It?

So, while there is a lot of information to take in what does all this really mean? We know that there is a problem because there are people that are hurt by it. It would be easy to blame pornography for a pattern of dissatisfaction sexually with their partners for people that frequent porn websites but the question begs; did they go to porn sites because they were dissatisfied with their relationship sexually or, did they become dissatisfied as a result of using porn websites. Regardless of the cause one disturbing fact is clear that based on studies consuming porn online doubles the likelihood of divorce (Zillmann & Bryant, 1984).

If there is a problem than most people being studied do not seem to think that there is. In a study by PBS/Frontline in 2002 by the Kinsey Institute for research in sex 86% of those surveyed said that they thought pornography could be educational. 72% said porn provides a harmless outlet for fantasies and stress. Out of all the people that had acknowledged using pornography 80% said they were fine with their experience.

The individuals that seek out porn regularly to a compulsive level are seemingly falling under patterns that show their makeup and personality traits make them more vulnerable to compulsive and addictive behaviors across the board. There is a concern amongst many researchers about there being sexual treatment facilities without a scientific consensus. One of the reasons for that concern is that some consumers may be getting taken advantage of. To charge people for something that there is no guarantee that it can be treated raises lots of ethical issues.

While it doesn’t seem like were going to figure out the answer to whether porn is addictive on these pages I will leave you with this, a relationship counselor from Palo Alto California explains that he has heard in his counseling sessions about porn being an issue in marriages for decades but does admit that the numbers are surging due to the Internet. As he explains it is much easier to have something to point at and blame for a problem than it is to have to work through and weed out what that problem. As he put it “When it comes to people’s sex lives, people would much rather talk about porn than about how they miss the sex they used to enjoy together”. So, while we may indeed find out that there are scientific underlying reasons for these afflictions, we do not have those answers yet. That does not mean we cannot try to live better today. And this is where cognitive thinking comes in. Think about why you are thinking the way you do, and you might come up with the answer to some your own questions.

References

Bridges, A. J., & Morokoff, P. J. (2011). Sexual media use and relational satisfaction in heterosexual couples. Personal Relationships, 18(4), 562–585. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01328.x

Cooper, A., Scherer, C. R., Boies, S. C., & Gordon, B. L. (1999). Sexuality on the Internet: From sexual exploration to pathological expression. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 30(2), 154–164. https://doi.org/10.1037/0735-7028.30.2.154

Maddox, A. M., Rhoades, G. K., & Markman, H. J. (2011). Viewing Sexually-Explicit Materials Alone or Together: Associations with Relationship Quality. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40(2), 441–448. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-009-9585-4

Muusses, L. D., Kerkhof, P., & Finkenauer, C. (2015). Internet pornography and relationship quality: A longitudinal study of within and between partner effects of adjustment, sexual satisfaction and sexually explicit internet material among newly-weds. Computers in Human Behavior, 45, 77–84. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2014.11.077

(Sabina et al., 2008 — Google Search. (n.d.). Retrieved August 11, 2020, from https://www.google.com/search?q=(Sabina+et+al.%2C+2008&oq=(Sabina+et+al.%2C+2008&aqs=chrome..69i57.708993520j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Sun, C., Bridges, A., Johnson, J. A., & Ezzell, M. B. (2016). Pornography and the Male Sexual Script: An Analysis of Consumption and Sexual Relations. Archives of Sexual Behavior; New York, 45(4), 983–994. http://dx.doi.org.library.capella.edu/10.1007/s10508-014-0391-2

Valerie Voon. (n.d.). Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours. Retrieved August 11, 2020, from https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0102419

Weinstein, A. M., Zolek, R., Babkin, A., Cohen, K., & Lejoyeux, M. (2015). Factors predicting cybersex use and difficulties in forming intimate relationships among male and female users of cybersex. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 6.

X-Rated: Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors Associated With U.S. Early Adolescents’ Exposure to Sexually Explicit Media — Jane D. Brown, Kelly L. L’Engle, 2009. (n.d.). Retrieved August 11, 2020, from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0093650208326465

Zillmann, D., & Bryant, J. (1984). 4 — Effects of Massive Exposure to Pornography. In N. M. Malamuth & E. Donnerstein (Eds.), Pornography and Sexual Aggression (pp. 115–138). Academic Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-466280-3.50012-9