Give yourself permission to get through it. You are actually not a shitty anything, you are just doing what is needed!

It does get better. It does. I was you sixteen years ago, and it did get better, step by step, year by year, month by month. You just have to be patient with yourself. For every child who is born, the number of relationships in the household goes up way more than just the number of people, and you are not getting enough time to deal with that.

You are not shitty; you are normal. If your friends are letting you think they’re doing it easily, they’re not normal. Either they’re misrepresenting themselves to you or they’re not working as hard as you. Or they have one of those one-in-a-million babies, in which case they’ll be like you when that child hits teenage (believe me; I’ve lived it and seen it in others).

I found that the people who were patient with my overwhelm, who were as un-together as me and didn’t care about the dirty bathtub, were the ones who became lifelong friends. In fact, we sometimes drank wine in the middle of the filth while our kids played, discussing the shittiness and ways to deal with it. It was a relief both for me and for my husband, because peeking out of that tiny, claustrophobic whirlwind of job, spouse, and baby (and knowing you are not alone) can sometimes be the best thing for your sanity.

And you know, there have been studies that show creativity increases when the surroundings are messy. So there.