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The one reason I would want the Knicks to win the lottery is so they can pick Lonzo Ball and we get to read about LaVar Ball and Phil Jackson feuding with each other for the next two years.

Really, a LaVar Ball Entertainment Index, ranking the teams in which it would be the most fun to see LaVar Ball clash with the front office, seems like a good idea:

  1. Knicks (LaVar vs. Jackson/Dolan)
  2. Lakers (LaVar vs. Magic)
  3. Hornets (LaVar would come to every practice and try to goad MJ into one-on-one games the entire first season)
  4. Kings (“Why is Buddy Hield starting at PG over Lonzo?”)
  5. Mavericks (I feel like LaVar vs. incompetent executives is funnier than LaVar vs. competent but self-aggrandizing executives, so Cuban falls to here)
  6. Heat (Because Riley is slightly less entertaining than Cuban)
  7. Pelicans (LaVar offers DeMarcus Cousins the “opportunity” to get his own imprint of Big Ballers Brand — Big Boogie Brand — in exchange for giving 25% of his lifetime earnings to LaVar)
  8. Nuggets (Either LaVar tries to goad Lonzo into a Carmel0-sulk, or he opens the Big Ballers Brewery and gets angry when the league doesn’t allow Lonzo to sponsor it. Either way, entertaining)
  9. Timberwolves (LaVar trying to start shit with KAT in an attempt to force a trade out of Minnesota would be fun, but not as fun as Big Ballers Brewery)
  10. Celtics (Only because the front office would be smart enough to trade IT if they were planning on drafting Lonzo. On the off-chance they don’t, though, this moves up to #4)
  11. Pistons (LaVar gives the Big 3 automakers the “opportunity” to create a Big Ballers Brand line of cars, for the low price of a $10 billion licensing fee)
  12. 76ers (This works pretty well for everyone, but there’s a small chance that LaVar is insecure enough to try feuding with T.J. McConnell)
  13. Orlando (LaVar tries to do something with…Disney World? Okay, gimmick is wearing a bit thin.)
  14. Phoenix (WHO CARES)
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