The new course I started today, Soc. 35: Marriage, Family, and Intimate Relationships, had the most interesting start out of all my classes this quarter. I had the teacher of course, but I really didn’t like the set up. Introductions are fine for conversations, but the teacher often has us speak within small groups. I personally believe this can divert from any lesson plan depending on who you talk with. Getting people to get back to a topic can be frustrating at times. I had difficulty explaining this to person next to me.
I was still at it again. We were told to just answer questions about ourselves personally — “when were you the most happiest?” and “say an interesting fact about yourself!” Then the questions became kind of intimate. The person next to me didn’t have any sort of plans of marriage as she didn’t believe in romantic feelings. She couldn’t describe it, but I well understood… except I couldn’t get this post out of my head.
I didn’t believe that person felt lonely. I just fluctuated between pronouns. I’m not sure by what pronouns this person even refers to herself/themself lol. We both brought up factors why people end up in unhealthy relationships. The social pressure put upon an individual often expects there to be a breadwinner and a dependent to settle down in order for ends to meet. This can affect unexperienced relationships but what do I know? One of her responses for the most happiest moment question involved going to a beach in the Philippines. She described the waters with rich colors. I asked if she had any photos but she said she didn’t want to capture any because the moment was precious to her and she wanted those memories to remain exclusive inside. I explain this answer now because when we discussed what makes a “good” relationship, she discussed keeping things private from social media. This opened mind because then you’d only be working to seek validation from the people imposing social pressures on you. I’ve heard about not sharing your relationships with others online because the probability of anyone pointing out judgment is there. When the relationship is personal, you don’t think you’re there to impress anyone. I was never exposed to this reason in depth until today and it just made sense.
don’t do anything for others. I was guilty of this. i used to ostracize myself before and think of criticism ahead until i just stopped using social media as much. when you find yourself, you become more capable of self care.
thanks for reading and happy new year