There is a tough line here. Sexual frustration, anger at patriarchy and fear of intimacy. And who can blame anyone really? So many of us men and women have experienced trauma in one form or another around sex. And this trauma has left scars on so many of us. And we walk bleeding out our pain in some very unusual ways sometimes. It is sad how the gift of pleasure has been accursed and made dark by those who are afraid. However, the tide is changing. Stories of #MeToo are helping to lay a foundation of healing and beginning a long needed dialogue. And this dialogue is going to be hard to take in some instances. We are going to have to face our fear and hurt in order to heal our anger. We will have to take extreme caution to not take the pain of others on and take it personal as they heal and rage out the hurt. Standing up and getting the hurt out is going to be a hard pill for us to swallow. I believe that is what is at the heart of this discussion, hurt and fear. It is an attempt to own that fear and hurt and say, “Its mine, fuck off!” Fair enough! There are many ways to see the center of a circle as the comments here show. All I have read appear valid and just. My body my choice. My sex, my way. Again fair enough. I personally, as a Lover, hope healing is found. I am one of those kind of lovers who puts the other ahead of himself. I am one of those who would seek to give rather than receive. I can do that on my own ;) My leftie gets a Valentine every year wink, wink. But to give, now there is divinity. there is heaven. Some could see this as selfish, fair enough, we are all entitled to our own POV. However, you would not truly know me if that was where you were on the spectrum without getting out of your own stuff; if even for but a moment. And that is what being a good lover is all about. Getting out of your own and into another. BUT! We cannot get out of our own if we are still hurt and carrying that. Perhaps, and this is a BIG perhaps, this is why so many have a hard time loving and being loved. I do hope the spirit of my words comes through and you as the reader feel my heart, for that is where IMHO we need to go to in these discussions.

    Xavier Erotica đź’—

    Written by

    Dreamer, poet, lover of fine, exquisite experience; those catch your breath moments. Uplifting, elevating and pushing the envelope around sensuality & devotion.