CW: nazis, fascism, extreme racism, antisemitism, ableism, misogyny, i literally copy pasted a…
burner burner

As a freckled person, I’m concerned that we freckled folk will not be correctly categorized. Are we to be considered White-With-Beige-Spots, Beige-With-White-Spots? Or perhaps even Invisible-With-Black-&-White Spots?

Is there some Issuing Authority that is putting out PeopleTone™ color swatches and ASCII octal HTML color charts — if that’s what you call those things — to help us distinguish/define everyone’s appropriate place on the White-to-Black Skin Sack Color Continuum?

Perhaps even more important is whether we apply the color swatch matching tests to Sun Worshippers — that is, rich folks (or poor folks) who spend a lot of time getting “perfect tans.” We have evidence that folks like the Red Shield-Bauer Family (or Bauer-Rothschild Family) spend lots of time on their yachts, on the ski-slopes. Do we color-match swimsuit tans by checking the interior Trump-Handles of women and the bag-shadows of men, particularly as melanin tends to agglomerate in those sites, which would then generate False-Beige Readings (FBRs), like “false positives” in other testing environments?

Perhaps a more precise (and even accurate) method of discriminating would be the requirement of DNA scores for the populace, starting with the “Gold Standards,” namely the Redshields, Redstones, Steinfellers (aka Rothschilds, Rothsteins & Rockefellers, respectively). Then we’d spread the testing (and posting of results, by the way) to members of the Rhodes Roundtables, Council on Feral Relations, the Tri-Lateral Commish, Picture- Mountainseers (aka Bilderbergers). And some clever chemical company could make up Beigeness Strips, like litmus strips, that could be used for instant readouts; just dip the strip in your Rhine. (Which reminds me to ask, etymologically-speaking, was the ’hine named after urine? We know that, in England, they’ve a Piddle River, and a village Piddlethrentide — perhaps reminding us that we should be worried that global warming will drown us all in a rising tide of pee. But I digress.

Bottom line is how to classify freckled folk and, by extension, all hominids hunkering down in their skin-sacks, trying to hide from the Melanin Matchers — aka “The Beigeness Bobbies” in Britain. And watch out for the effects of Instant Karma. (John Lennon actually wrote an eponymous song, with the not-surprising title (given the Law of the Dictionary definition of “eponymous”) Instant Karma. Kind of like Instant Gratification, but in reverse.)

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