You Are Not Alone: Why You Shouldn’t Feel Bad After Being Diagnosed with HPV

XoGossipGirl
Sep 6, 2018 · 3 min read

“Your pap test came back abnormal, but it is nothing to worry about because abnormal pap test results can be caused by anything such as: recent intercourse, where you are in your menstrual cycle or even tampons, so I want to follow up in a year with another pap smear.” As I processed this news the doctor continued “However, you did test positive for…” the pause that followed seemed to drag on for decades as I anxiously waited to hear the rest…. “HPV. This is also nothing to worry about because it appears that your immune system is actively fighting the infection off well, so I want to follow up with another HPV test in a year as well.” My stomach dropped, my mind was racing trying to process what I had just heard. I normally practice pretty safe sex, so I couldn’t figure out how last year everything was normal and this year I was HPV positive. The doctor asked if I had any questions and I thought to myself “tons”, but I couldn’t formulate the sentence in a room full of peers staring at me wondering who was on the phone, so I muttered “Nope, I don’t think so. Thanks!” and frantically hung up the phone. I tried to continue my day, but all I could think about was that I was HPV positive and needed to contact my boyfriend. For the rest of the day I felt extremely nauseated and confused by what was happening. Despite my boyfriend’s attempts to calm me down and his reassurance that everything would be fine and that he was not upset that I could’ve transmitted it to him or vice versa, I couldn’t contain my anxiety. I tried to research more to make myself feel better, hell, I even read blogs from women all over discussing their diagnosis and how to comfort a partner who tested positive for HPV and nothing seemed to help. So here I am, writing to you in hopes of a release of the anxiety in my mind…

Roughly 75% of women will be infected with HPV at some point in their lives… it is almost as common as the common cold, let that sink in. Additionally, HPV can be spread EVEN IF YOU USE CONDOMS. So, if you or someone you know are infected/ have been infected it may not have been from unsafe sex behaviors. There is NO reason to feel disappointed in yourself or gross because you tested positive for HPV. (Shout out to my perfectionists out there, you may have done nothing wrong!) HPV is also not a sign of infidelity because it can lay dormant in your system for days, months or even years. So, if a partner approaches you in confidence to discuss their test results, listen with an open mind because it does not necessarily mean that they cheated. On the other hand, do not attack your partner for giving you HPV either because it is almost entirely impossible to determine where you contracted the disease.

Obviously, I am not a physician, nor do I claim to be, so please research on your own and discuss HPV with a professional if you would like to know more. I just wrote this for all of you women out there who are experiencing what I am in hopes that you will understand that you are not alone and together we will get through this.

P.S if your partner is not understanding, comforting and reassuring during this process then he or she is not worth your time. I’m very thankful that my boyfriend has been my backbone through this process and continues to comfort me as we move forward with my diagnosis.