Your explanation was excellent. Even people with good intentions sometimes misstep with their words. Those people should not be vilified for it because it is definitely counterproductive. Unless something said is overtly offensive, it is difficult to gauge since what offends one person may not bother another of the same group.

I have noticed on this platform many times when people are arguing over something, it seems like they are on the same side but the words being used end up muddying the waters to the point that neither party can see that they actually share the same viewpoint. Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. A very appropriate idiom.