Be on a plane

When I’m on a plane easing back in my seat with headphones on, listening to r&b, it’s some of the most relaxing times in my life. If the plane falls from the sky, I would probably say “ok” and go back to what I was doing. Now contrasts this with me filling out a visa application form, probably one of the most stressful things I have done. Constantly checking over what I have done, worrying if I had made a mistake, it is an anxiety filling event. But you would notice if I didn’t do it right, I wasn’t going to die.

My hypothesis is that anxiety arise due to the illusion of control. On the plane, if it fell out of the sky there was nothing that I could do; I had to accept my fate. Filling in the form, I took agency for any mistakes made. This meant any mistakes made rest squarely on my shoulders, thus I would be fit for ridicule. But what if I wasn’t in full control? What if my mind is something like my heart so that I had only partial control?

I don’t have solid proof that we aren’t in control, but my intuition says, “Yes, you aren’t the only one driving this machine”. With that said, one of the constructs that I have come up with for dealing with the fear of failure is to tell myself, “Be on a Plane.” I can buy my ticket, pack my bags, check-in but whether I reach my destination is not up to me. Do your level best at achieving your goals but don’t take responsibility for its outcome; be on a plane.

[Disclaimer: I’m not advocating not taking responsibility externally, just internally.]