Other Classic Works of Literature as Understood by Elon Musk

Elon Musk, CEO of Space X and Tesla and self-proclaimed weirdo, managed to polarize the internet yet again last Friday when he went on a rant about socialism and socialists. The crowning glory of his diatribe was undoubtedly the following tweet:

Marx’s ideas are so deeply steeped in our cultural consciousness that nearly anyone with a pulse did a double-take-and-spit-coffee routine when they read this. Could it really be, those outside of the Musk cult asked ourselves, that this zany inventor is actually at heart that unbelievably lazy 9th grader who bullshits his way through a reading assignment, often relying on just the title of the book?

This got me wondering about his take on other gems of world literature and I am fairly certain they look something like this:

To Kill a Mockingbird:

Avid hunter Harper Lee’s timeless manual on how to hunt these airborne critters.

Great Expectations:

Charles Dickens’ 19th century bildungsroman chronicles the life and times of an eccentric visionary industrialist, the great things expected of him and those he expects from his labour force that he loves very much and takes very good care of.

Atlas Shrugged:

Ayn Rand was a tireless champion of free-market philosophy and has been both grossly misunderstood and misrepresented by killjoy socialists who have no sense of humour. Her novel is a deeply erotic look at what life and labor could be like if nasty meddling folks just left us geniuses alone.

One Hundred Years of Solitude:

All about how it’s very lonely at the top, you guys don’t even know. #onepercentwoes

Jane Eyre:

Romance for chicks. Didn’t read.

Wuthering Heights:

Ditto.

Paradise Lost:

Some might think that Milton’s epic is about the fall of man, his act of disobedience, and their expulsion from Eden but *I* think it’s actually a paean to the power of unfettered creative ability and, in some ways, an eloquent argument in favour of removing all bureaucratic and governmental obstacles from the paths of loveable car manufacturers.

The Grapes of Wrath:

Steinbeck’s cautionary tale of the dangers of alcoholism, particularly wine.

Fahrenheit 451:

Ok, I will humbly admit that I didn’t read this one but it seems like a good opportunity to plug my Not-A-Flamethrower™, now available for purchase at our website!