Don’t Feed Your Inner Gremlin
I am sure you know who I am talking about. That mean, grumpy voice inside your head that is a part of your ego. Probably its most essential part.
The voice that criticizes people around you, looking for the smallest reasons to tell you that you are better than they are.
“Look at that shirt he is wearing, what a tasteless choice! You look much smarter”
“Look how fat she is! You are much thinner”
“Look how loud she is laughing! She must be pretentious and have no respect for others. You are much better” (even when you want to laugh just as loud but feel shy. Especially then)
That Gremlin loves criticizing — in fact the criticism and unwillingness to accept is all he is. Our ego grows from the feeling of separation between us and the others and Gremlin lives to strengthen this feeling.
I am struggling with my Gremlin when I am with my parents. I used to wonder what made me act so mean, so selfish and to be rude sometimes. Then I realised that knowing that they unconditionally love me — just as I am, even with the darkest corners of my self, boosted my ego up high and gave freedom to my Gremlin. Instead of feeling gratitude and love for my parents I started being arrogant and condescending leaded by my Gremlin, my darkest, egoistic side.
But then I the moment came when I stopped associating myself with this voice and realised that I have a choice. A choice to act in spite of it. To feel the anger coming up me, see it and choose another option. A better option that brings me closer to who I really want to be.
Try that. The next time you hear that voice take a second. Detach yourself from it, realize that you’re not the voice, that you’re different from it and you have a choice. Imagine that Gremlin all greedy for your negativity and don’t give it the pleasure.
Don’t feed your Gremlin. Choose your better self.