Maybe you think you have discovered some insight into toxic masculinity that you think I have not studied or seen and that will be the magical piece that will drag me away from feminism.
The List of Books Men Must Read Before Messaging Me About Feminism
Lauren Parker
1.4K149

This comes across to me as pretty arrogant (as does this whole paragraph). To me, it seems to be saying “my views on feminism are complete and unfalsifiable. I am not open to further information and if you disagree with me, you are simply wrong.”

If someone disagrees with you, the best response is to tell them they’re wrong, briefly indicate why, and then recommend a single book or article which focuses on refuting that argument. As a man who may or may not agree with your position, I’d find it much more changeable than reading 39 books on a topic I’m only tangentially interested in. Example: “Hi Jackson, I don’t really think anything I’ve said is arrogant because arrogance presumes a superiority that is characteristic only of the patriarchy itself. For more information, I suggest you read the excellent Wikipedia article on arrogance and a Hungarian translation of the Taming of the Shrew.”

I fully acknowledge that a lot of the people who contact you will be completely impervious to new ideas, and that makes it hard to work up the motivation to respond at all (these people can usually be identified by the employment of pseudonyms and vitriolic language). But for a lot of these people, you have an opportunity to change their views by putting forward counterarguments. This is the cost of writing in public: you get people who argue your position. Be grateful that people are taking the time to read and respond to your work; many writers do not have that privilege.

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