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The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally — well, to be accurate, artificially — business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks. Suddenly, morose Pine Cove turns libidinous and is hit by a mysterious crime wave, and a beleaguered constable has to fight off his own gonzo appetites to find out what’s wrong and what, if anything, to do about it.
“So Catfish strolled a rolling Delta moonwalk of a stroll (redolent of sassafras and jive) into Pine Cove Drug and Gift, and the four blue-haired chicken women behind the counter nearly tumbled over each other trying to get to the back room. Imagine it: a person of the Dark persuasion in their midst. What if he should ask for a vial of Afro-Sheen or some other ethnically oriented product with which they were totally unfamiliar? Why, the smoke alarms would melt, screaming like dying witches, when their collective minds steamed to a stop. Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn’t it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLO ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of 30% of the population, even in the negative? No, we shall err on the side of safety, thank you, and in lieu of sand in which to bury our heads, we shall head to the back room…Catfish leaned over the counter to where he could see the row of eyes peering out of the crack and said, ‘I be back in a few minutes my own self, ladies. I needs some medicine what can help me with this huge black d — k I has to carry around. The weight of it like to break my back…’”
Winston turned and scowled at Catfish. “Was that really necessary?”
“A man gots to look after his reputation,” Catfish said.
This is my 3rd Moore book, and I enjoy his style. His character development is excellent, if a little earthy, and one grows to appreciate the extravagant neurotic nuances of each personality. There is only one (albeit large) reality stretch, involving the discovery of the main character, a sort of dinosaur. He has the already above mentioned interesting ability to attract victims when he is hungry (all the time), and when necessary can camouflage himself. I was right up there with him as he changed colors with the forest environment, but definitely surprised when he managed to fit right in amongst a bunch of mobile homes. The high point of the book occurred when he was sexually attracted to a gasoline carrying 18-wheeler.
Highly recommended for the Chris Moore enthusiast.
Name: Lawrence Mallory
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Steve’s tasty snacks
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 17, 2022
Review: Christopher Moore at his finest. Imagine a carnivorous erotic website becoming self aware on the California coast close to Big Sur. Now increase the implausibility by turning the website into a very old sequentially hermaphroditic dragon-like creature with gills and the ability to survive on land sometimes disguised as a single wide house trailer. The people encountering the creature act as we would expect (remembering that a large number of people thought it would be a fine idea to make a self-promoting brand ambassador president ). This is the best screwball comedy (in the fiction category) I have experienced.
Name: Schtinky
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: A new outlook on love in a trailer park
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on November 15, 2004
Review: Christopher Moore has a fluid and yet compact writing style that is descriptive enough to flow swiftly without tedium. What separates him from the rest of the pack are the fantastical events he unfolds in his comedic tales.
A great Sea Beast awakens from his slumber, feeling a bit randy and ready to emerge. When he finds a tanker truck refueling at a gas station in Pine Cove, he mistakes its purring engines for a come-on signal from a female. However, mounting a gas tanker may have dire consequences, and our Sea Beast is badly burned in the process.
He makes his way to a nearby trailer park, where he alters his outward appearance to look like just another trailer while he heals from his tanker encounter. He parks himself next to Molly Michon’s trailer, an ex B-Movie queen with mental problems. She is the only one who knows the trailer is alive, and promptly names him Steve.
The town of Pine Cove is a small, usually quiet tourist town, until Bess Leander, seemingly the queen of domestic bliss, commits suicide. Local psychiatrist Val Riordan blames herself for not paying enough attention to her clients, and promptly takes her entire patient list off of their antidepressants, while stoner constable Theophilius Crowe realizes there is something suspicious about Bess’s death and decides to investigate despite the warnings of the county sheriff to just let it go.
`Lust Lizard’ is rich with colorful characters, fantastical delusions, a crusty bartender, some wonderful tie-in’s to Moore’s `Practical Demonkeeping’, blues music, and a tasty peek into the mind of a lustful Sea Beast named Steve. And when Steve’s feelings of lust bleed out into the human population, feelings explode into passionate actions. While through all of this, Theo must not only discover why everyone is behaving strangely, but what is behind the death of Bess Leander.
One of the things I loved about `Lust Lizard’ was Moore’s addition of a character named Gabe Fenton, who is a scientist doing studies of the rat colonies around Pine Cove. Some of the similarities between Gabe’s rats and the human colonies that surround us are worthy of pondering, comparing the behavior of one species as a herd to our own was very tongue in cheek and yet hilarious once noted and accepted.
All in all, The Lust Lizard Of Melancholy Cove is a very funny romp into the human mind and the antics of an ancient creature named Steve. A worthwhile read. Enjoy!
