Finding yourself/Love Yourself

On Facebook, I’ve gone on a spiral rant about having to love yourself and finding yourself, especially at a time when you are most likely to feel lonely when it comes to being in a relationship. I must confess right now, when it came to a relationship I only looked at the superficial reasonings behind the ordeal. Let’s look at it in detail…..


First off, status. When you go on social media and you find someone posting up a status that says “Married” or “in a relationship”, the first instinct that you might find is “congrats.” But in reality, did any of your so-called “friends” comment on the situations that you’re going through? Did they even say hello when you needed some help? Do they even see the struggles of having to go day to day finding a job, let alone finding the right woman, both online and in real life? If the answer is no…don’t even waste your time on trying to do this to reflect your online status to win “friends”.

Second, fantasy. Admit it, the idea of having a girlfriend means that you have someone to fall in love with for the rest of your life. Often times, especially when you don’t know yourself too well, you get caught up with this fantasy of trying to change someone to your liking; in short, the “Pygmalion/Pretty Woman” syndrome. Most romantic movies fall for this trope, guy meets common girl, wants to change her for the better and ends up falling in love with the “Fantasy” instead of the reality. I’ve had my share of that…trying to change someone to my liking yet in the end it wasn’t working for both of us because we were under the idea of an illusion. My question to you is this, is the woman you’re with loves you even when things are going through some tough times? Or, if she’s a Christian, does she pray for you when you can’t pray for yourself? Do you see yourself fantasying based on her profession as opposed to knowing who she really is on the inside? If the answer is no….walk back and ask yourself what you really want in life.

Finally, loneliness. In Genesis, God talked about how it is not good for man to be alone. And it’s true, being lonely is the worst thing a man and a woman has to deal with when it comes to relationships. Yet, at the same time when you have two lonely people, who do not know each other, and do not know themselves, it’s more toxic than being alone in your situation. We live in a world where hookups and one night stands might be the all to end all. However, that’s not the case…once you’ve got your juices flowing and once everything is over and you realized, once the mask and fantasy is over, you’re looking at a complete stranger…..

HELLO, Are you afraid of the dark….

You might end up looking back at life with regret and realize that this is not how you want things to be.

So what do you do?

Take this time, at your age to know who you are. If it means having to go out, movies, and express yourself in many ways and then realize that you are the person that you need to be, then you’ll be ready to be with someone who will love you. Not for your status, or your fantasy, but for you. You’ll be far more happier this way.