Halfway through the defining decade
25 things I’m grateful for on my Quarter Century birthday

I’ve always felt that I should be at least 25. I can’t explain it, but I always felt older than the loose change less than a quarter. I know it’s only a number, and it’ll last a year, and the road will go on ahead! As a confession, after I read “The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter‑‑And How to Make the Most of them now” by Meg Jay, I’ve become obsessed with the idea of my 20s being the most “determining” years of my life. I preach this to everyone I can. I’ve lent or recommended the book to more friends, co-workers and strangers than I could count. Now that I hit 2–5, I feel nostalgic about my marathon plan for how my twenties matter. To celebrate the half-time, I made a list of 25 thing I’m grateful for learning, experiencing, or becoming by 25.
- I care about acquiring things that actually matter. Like mental health and self-approval.
- An upbringing with both blessings and hardships that make me who I am today. Yes, I was fortunate to be raised in the U.S. where I benefitted from culture and public resources. I also got the short end of the stick in coming from an immigrant family. I appreciate that stick. Those very experiences instilled something very strong inside of me — Purposeful independence.
- Mentorship is a two-way deal. Both ends are equally rewarding.
- A riveting 4+ year career at a tech start up, the first in Palestine to receive Venture Capital in its seed round, and raise $10M in total.
- An ambitious drive that never fails me. In her book, Meg Jay talks about identity capital — “the currency we use to metaphorically purchase jobs and relationships.” It is a means to invest in ourselves. We own up to the power of our control and become who we choose to be.
- A vibrant life in my home county — Palestine. I’ve fully assimilated to moving from America to Palestine in the past 7 years. I’ve built a life from scratch (again), but as an adult this time. I experienced the culture and selected the elements that I wanted to be engulfed in. My Arabic is also 1000x better than when I was 17.
- Those college jobs and side hustles taught me the value of a dollar (or Shekel whatever). More importantly, I got a head start on real life way before starting my first “real career job”. At the same time I was learning “Human Resources” from a classroom in university, I was also dealing with a real-life “HR department” at my call center gig. I also learned retail, customer service, brand, sales and franchising at an actual franchise. Things like self discipline, time management, and corporate practice were experiences rather than lessons.
- Sard. My poetry baby. I got to contribute in driving an expressive movement that produced a community home for poetry and art.
- My writing has evolved from poems to just about anything I want to write about.
- I have a new business idea almost every day. I write them down and I research.
- I’m conscious of the content I consume. I select it.
- People are rarely constant. They go in and out of your life as you do with theirs. The earth must spin for the oceans to rise and fall. We too must go around to taste all the sweet fruit life brings.
- I inspire other people to have dreams and work hard to get them.
- I pay my own bills and have a roof over my head. Adulting is not easy!
- I’ve had culturally rich education and work across many countries.
- I’m a wifey — I married my best friend and biggest supporter. Commitment is more than love, it’s finding your soulmate and working towards the best versions of yourselves, always.
- I’m redefining what women can do (in my family, in my village, and in my small sphere).
- I’m not a burden on my family. I help out with what I can. I know they are proud.
- I know what I want in life. I am not a lost soul anymore.
- I appreciate my body for the way it is. I do understand the ignorance of those who made me question it as a kid.
- I know incredible women that inspire me to learn and grow. Having a network of friends is important to your health and growth. Meg Jay talks about “weak ties and strong ties”. I found that both are necessary in different ways. Strong ties are always there for you while weak ties will bring you new experiences and opportunities.
- Team leadership has been a challenge since day one. No one else can show you how to do it. You are a unique individual and that’s what makes up the DNA of your leadership. I now feel confident with the shape I molded into as my own version of that.
- Not everything our parents teach us as kids is right. Have you ever heard “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? There’s nothing in human existence more productive than candor. My go to understanding of this is Kim Scott’s “Radical Candor: how to be a kick ass boss without losing your humanity.” I apply this not only at work, but everywhere else in life. We should care personally and resolve directly. I can go on about this, but maybe for another story.
- There are no templates in life. That stuff is only good in Canva. Real life is messier. Plans don’t always work out. Things get greasy, sweaty and sometimes dirty. Just like Trump’s Administration.
- Having interests does not come with deadline. It’s constantly restarting. Yes, the defining decade should mean we make choices and take action during our 20s. This mindset is that — inspiration to learn, create and build. You don’t have to have it all figured out by 30. Life would be dull if it was just a downward slide from there. I can’t wait to bring the new projects I have in mind to life. I’m so looking forward to having new hobbies. My most recent thing is being a plant lady. It’s winter and I planted Green Onion, Spinach and Rocca. Can’t wait to pick and eat!
