Today I did something I haven’t done for ages

I helped people have something they needed. I could give it to them easily, without effort. And I dedicated my morning to that, without any charge or expectation. In my busy “entrepreneurial” life I don’t remember doing this for years. It didn’t feel good, it didn’t feel any particular way but now, in the evening, I find myself in an interesting and puzzling state of mind.

Somehow I want to remember this feeling of expecting nothing from these people. If they want something and I can do it, I will do it, if they don’t, I won’t. Whatever their choice, I am OK with it, I will move the way they want me to. I have no agenda of my own. It is their domain, their choice, their will.

Somehow I want to be able to have this sort of attitude to other things and dealings, with other people. A major project coming up. I need to present my vision, I will present it, something simple, just enough to understand what I mean, for those who need to understand. After that, I will step away. If they want it, I’ll do it. So simple.

Light and easy like dandelion seeds I loved to blow when I was a little girl. People have a choice, they will do as they will and I will do as I will. I am not their brain, sometimes I do not know where my own brain is.

I understand the saying now:

If you accept, things take their natural course. If you don’t accept, things take their natural course.

These people in the morning, they needed the thing I could make, they didn’t have the money, they didn’t pay. I’ll get paid somewhere, somehow.

Other people don’t need whatever I can do, I won’t do it, they won’t pay. I’ll get paid somewhere, somehow.

The future is by definition a time (or place?) where things will happen that have never happened. It is to bring things I cannot even imagine. No use getting scared or sensing danger. When I imagine something I’m scared of or something I want badly, I block my energy and narrow the possibility down to probability. Why? I have no means of guessing what is playing out for me right at this moment, right in this place.

“Something unknown is doing we don’t know what.” Arthur Eddington

*This story is part of a series of stories exploring the road to creating new ways of being, free of anger and full of awareness for myself, my family, my environment and my business.

You can see the first story that sets the background here.


Thank you for reading this. I will be happy to hear anything you have to say about the story or its greater context.