i feel myself changing for the worst
she searched through blurred lines
over images of herself
for just a small peak
at who she really is.
she bent at the hip,
smashed air between open palms,
shut out the world around her,
and allowed herself a moment
to speak with god.
she prayed for forgiveness.
see, she knew sin all too well.
the rhythm of the beat of her heart
changed more and more
by the day.
her eyes felt cold.
they searched rooms of millions,
busy city streets in broad daylight,
endless pictures with filters and lies,
for the spark that might
light the fire she was harboring inside.
see, it once burned through her skin
with ferocity and vigor.
she was a girl on fire
even when she didn’t know.
but things happen.
when it rains, it pours;
she nearly drowned in tears
and fears that beat down on her,
out of tune and offbeat
with the rhythms that moved her feet
and gave her strength to go on.
soon she found herself lost.
staring in mirrors,
she saw straight through her reflection,
no longer able to recognize the false expressions
she taught her face.
her lips pursed,
their corners turned down,
she was turning ugly
and no amount of makeup could hide it.
so she searches through blurred eyes
over images of her smile
and holds tight on to old lies
until the she wakes and realize
that no matter how much the world takes away,
baby girl, you’re enough.
don’t let this world make you
into someone you’re not.