I Want 10 (+1) Children
You heard me, 10 (+1), my own football team ☺
That’s my brother in the picture above, at his graduation ceremony from UVA’s engineering school. I love my brother. I look up to my brother — even though he’s the younger one. Yet, I always wished I had a sister. Not in place of my brother, I would not replace my brother for anyone. But another sibling. A sister, or two. Maybe even another brother, or two.
Throughout my entire life I put in more effort into the relationships I built with my friends. I love my family, but my cousins were not around. Summers and vacations are not enough to build a meaningful relationship with people who are in different countries and continent. Even if you share blood with them. Families are great, you get unconditional love and the ease of mind that they will always be there. BUT… you still have to work on those relationships. They do not come for granted. So at a period when Facebook, Twitter, Skype, and even email were not as ubiquitous as they are now I had to focus my time and energy on the relationships I had access to. So I spent my entire time with friends. I thought that would be the better bet. Friends are the family you choose.
Friends are the family you choose.
As a kid, a teenager, or even in your early twenties you have this delusion that you understand life and you have it figured out. Then life throws at you one curve ball after the other. I never thought relationships so strong could ever be broken. But they can. Over silly things even. When I left Lebanon to go attend college in the U.S. I would have put money on the bonds that I had formed with certain people. I would have lost that money — a highway robbery. It is almost criminal those relationships vanished.
When I think about it and wonder what went wrong, I cannot come up with any alternative. There was not going to be any other path that would have lead to a better outcome. The fact of the matter is that such is life.
My solution to all of this is siblings. Lots of them. You can pretty much bet that you will be around your siblings for long enough throughout your life to build a solid relationship with them. Exceptions aside, you will not grow up in one country while another sibling grows up in half way across the globe.
No matter how bad your relationship with your siblings can be, they will come to your aid when you need it. Even in dysfunctional families, when you absolutely need it, you will definitely be better off with siblings than without. And then, the more siblings you have the more options you get.
My observations with the sample of people that I know — this is not scientific stuff, although you might find scientific evidence to support it — lead to think two things:
- Children with a sibling of opposite sex tend to have higher self confidence, wider skill sets, and a more complete view on inter-human relationship.
- Children of large homes are more competitive, higher achievers, more resourceful, and happier.
So if you are planning to be a parent, why wouldn’t you provide your children with the best possible scenario? Why wouldn’t you aim for diversity and higher numbers? If you know that it will give your children a better chance at life, than why wouldn’t you do it?
I ask the question with a bit of a rhetorical pinch to it. I know the typical reason people will give.
It’s too expensive — B.S.
I do not like kids — than do not have any at all, I’m not saying you SHOULD, as in you MUST, I’m saying that if you want to why wouldn’t you.
What am I? A kid factory machine? Do you expect me to just spend my entire life with my legs raised up in the air for you and the gynocologist? — No! Stop being silly. That’s what twins (triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets, sextuplets, etc) are for. That’s what adoption is for. That’s what polygamy is for. D’oh!
Okay, but why 10? and what’s the +1 for? — Why not? 10, +1 optional. 1 spare. You never know what can happen, it’s always good to have reserves.
So there, get used to the idea. 10 (+1) mini me’s.