Why does it feel like you had to write this? I love the title. It got me here.
Tre L. Loadholt
71

Tre, how do you do it? You read my heart with ease. I’m blown away. ❤❤❤

You’re right. I had to write it because I had to give myself permission to break. I’ve always been the strong/confident/reliable one, the one everyone turns to when they need something. So, I used to repress the depressive thoughts and it just turned into blackout rage. And since everything is always my fault and I keep letting people down…*shrugs* You know how that road goes.

It took me a while to understand that I cannot hold things in, I have to cry/scream/write it out. It did help with the rage, but the depression kept/keeps coming back. I know it’s just some stupid chemicals, but its sometimes hard to believe that…and I have to remind myself — quite often, because I can be an idiot about certain things — that it’s okay to give in.

Bright side — looks like this episode is almost done. Yay!

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