Why Pancreatic Cancer Needs You, NOW!
My Dad passed away in the early hours of November 26, 2018 — a grey, cold, morning that I shall never forget.
He had been fighting stage IV pancreatic cancer for 16 months, and although his passing was far from unexpected, it still felt like the rug had been pulled from under us.
I remember exactly what I did minutes after my Dad passed. I walked downstairs to the kitchen, and in total numbness, poured myself a glass of red wine. I genuinely have no idea why. I know alcohol doesn’t numb pain, nor have I resorted to it for this purpose in the past. But, for some reason, it’s the only thing I could muster doing as I sat in complete shock. Gallous humour would make the coming weeks, as we waited to get the green light from the coroner to take my Dad back to our native Spain, much more bearable. But this is neither here nor there.
Over the course of my Dad’s disease, from diagnosis, through to treatment, and then end-of-life care, I experienced all the imaginable emotions: fear, hope, and utter despair.
My family and I watched as my Dad underwent chemotheraphy —which at times felt unnecessarily cruel — went in and out of the hospital due to several infections, and witnessed his physical transformation, which has scarred me to this day.

Although cancer killed my Dad, cancer also changed him. Pre-cancer, my Dad was the most stubborn, intelligent, loving human being on this earth, but cancer made him weak, tired, angry, and understandably scared. I’m sure he never stopped loving us, but I know he tried to stop showing it when he was told the treatment had failed, because it made the inevitable, his impending death, far less painful. And when you’re still willing to fight, you need all the energy (both mental and physical) you can garner.
For months I wondered what would have happened if we’d caught the symptoms earlier, or if he’d gone to the doctor earlier. But this felt fruitless and after spending countless hours researching online, I came to the conclusion that it probably would have made little difference.
Pancreatic cancer is a beast and you certainly don’t have to take my word for it. According to Pancreatic Cancer UK, survival rates have barely changed over the past 50 years. Meanwhile, statistics for other cancers have improved massively.
Still, today, in 2019, pancreatic cancer is 8 times more deadly than other common cancers such as breast, prostate, or bowel cancer.
Some 10,000 people are diagnosed in the UK every year, and I for one can’t bear to stand and watch as they face these deadly odds alone.
We can do better. We need to do better. Our loved ones deserve better.
If you too want to help enact change, please sign Pancreatic Cancer UK’s ‘Demand Change’ petition here. And please donate to my fundraising page, in my Dad’s memory, here.