Choose Music around You to Become Happier
Surround yourself with positive and uplifting music. It’s good to cry but only sometimes. When we remember someone who has passed away, their favourite song, the sentence they’d say or the way they did something, or a nostalgic memory of our pet, childhood home, birth country or anything we feel strongly connected to — only one thought may brings sudden grief or tears.
That’s the grief which needed to be expressed and acknowledged. It’s our love for that person and craving for those feelings of past happiness. This is not necessarily a negative feeling, as acknowledgment of happiness we lived through (by knowing that person), could bring more happiness to this moment — appreciating all our experiences: past events, people and environments that taught us lessons to become who we are.
How much we grieve at present (with or without tears) is relevant to our past, present and future. It brings negative or positive thoughts, then other similar thoughts and the story keeps going. Right now, is there anything that we need to grieve? Is there anything unfixable? Do we need to grieve it 24/7?
The music we listen carries notes and words that aren’t ours. It also gets absorbed by our mind and becomes our truth, our current state — the veil we put over everything we see and experience.
It becomes a hypnotic message we subconsciously accept as being relevant to us. How is someone’s else story ours? However, that’s what it becomes — our inner being and state of mind. Is that what we want: someone’s else sadness to become ours as well?
I’m not saying to completely change the style of music you listen to and your favourite artists. I mean that we are influenced by our environments to what styles we prefer, so if you grew in a home where classic music (or rock, or reggae, blues etc.) was constantly playing, that’s most probably what you will admire in your adulthood. Unless you change it: being exposed by circumstances, or purposefully exposing yourself to something else as well.
Some songs (either very old or in certain styles) remind me of the times when I was at a great concert with my sisters and friends, others remind me of summer holidays and singing in the car with my parents and siblings, or staying at home on a weekend night because I knew that the couple visiting my parents loved singing, so my dad and his friend would be singing (I would sing too). Some sad songs could bring us happy memories or would bring clearing to our own sad feelings.
What I suggest is that we need to be mindful of the messages from the music, so constant sadness, anger, rebelliousness in all the songs we listen, could be highly toxic to our happiness.
Currently I often change the radio station if a sad (or angry) song is playing. Whether others think that I don’t listen to “cool” music anymore — is irrelevant to my inner happiness. I still enjoy a song or two that I used to listen to before, but that heaviness of tones and thoughts, those dark moments and feelings that the songs (some of my favourite ones) bring, is not something I want now in my life.
To uplift ourselves, to increase our wellbeing, the most important thing is to get in touch with our own song.
The song that’s playing our life and colouring everything we see and participate in, is the song that needs no external (someone’s else) negativity. We need to create our own present and future, and negative one isn’t what we want.
Listen to different styles, mix and match (to how you feel). I used to prefer mainly rock and metal, with some pop and some very old (I mean really old) folk music, but now I prefer more of pop and Latin music that “call” me to dance.
If I’m in nature, then classic music is the best. It just fits perfectly with the way I perceive the nature — bees, water flowing, flowers growing, the wind in the trees … Find which music makes YOU dance and play it in the morning to begin your day “on a happy note”.
If we don’t want anyone to suffer (including ourselves), than let’s play the happy and inspiring music, the music repeating words as: happy, worthy, love, sunshine, sky and anything you associate with happiness. If the song makes you dance, that’s a bonus.
Don’t wait (unless you’re driving). Dance right now! Having other people around us could make it difficult, but tapping fingers on your lap or tapping with your foot would help. You could also close your eyes for a moment, and imagine yourself in a club, at a party or alone at home (wherever you would feel comfortable to dance), and dance in your mind.
See and feel yourself making the moves that you usually do or the new ones. Listen to the words in a happy song and imagine the moves that you would describe those words and the feelings they produce in you. You don’t have to be a good dancer to do this, because in our minds we can do anything. We can be great dancers of ballet, Latin music or even almost acrobatic new style dancers. As it’s said “the sky is the limit”, and knowing that the sky doesn’t have a limit (unless we consider it to be the ozone layer) — there’s no limit to our imagination.
The next time you’re choosing new songs to download or to listen while doing something, consider which messages (feelings) you wish to invoke more in your life.
Create your playlist as the best illustration of your present and future hopes and desired feelings, so by listening to the songs you would be reminded of those aspirations consciously and subconsciously. YOU choose the subliminal messages you want to apply to your life. And don’t forget to dance (even in your garage/ workshop).
Don’t worry — your neighbours won’t see you. If your wife, husband, daughter, friend sees you — so what? They’ll maybe laugh, but then they’ll remember it later on and who knows — maybe they’ll start dancing (moving shoulders or just tapping) when they’re working on something or relaxing. Isn’t that what you would like — to influence others to feel good about and in their lives?
I don’t anymore exclusively listen to my favourite radio station, and by changing it when a very heavy song is on — driving becomes a breeze. Nothing is too difficult. No other driver is annoying, non-considerate and careless enough for me to give it another thought. One thought — “Hey!, …” then next one becomes “I hope you arrive safely and everyone you pass by today is safe”.
I feel that I’m calmer and I think of what I want to do today, rather than before — becoming angry, swearing (inside the car), if passengers are with me, then they can hear me, and it makes them feel uncomfortable. My passengers and I become unhappy—influenced by not the other driver’s behaviour, but by my reaction.
The moment extends into several minutes of anger, which doesn’t change that driver’s behaviour, but it changes our mood.
Now I think (“talk to the other driver”): “Be safe, be smarter, be calmer. I hope you soon learn that driving isn’t the best method to express your anger, frustrations and low self-esteem.” Then I let it go. The thought is being replaced by a happy song on the radio to which I sing and others in my car join me.
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