
How Long Is a Pathway to Happiness
When I began My Happiness project I thought I’d do only 21 days of Gratitude. It was advised by many online resources to write each day 3 entries about new things to be grateful for and a Journal reflecting on what happened that day, what I thought or remembered, and how I felt about it.
Even in my childhood I wrote lists, so for the Pathway to Happiness project I created a timetable with Gratitude, Journal, Meditation, Exercise, Creativity and Kindness columns.
As I started to notice how much I kept skipping on Creativity, I became aware that everything else was still similar to my previous life. I was doing things that I already had some knowledge about and some guidelines to follow (even my mediation was guided).
What is it about Creativity that puts me off? Is it having no guidelines to show me the ‘”right” way, or is it fear to show Myself, MY way, MY ideas? Potential for greatness is in every one of us, but we should see it as being “brave” enough (there is no danger here). Instead we need to trust ourselves that OUR way is the best way for US.
I always loved creating clothes, drawing dresses since my childhood, and I still keep putting it off, even as an output of what I wish to wear, regardless of how others value my creations.
When thoughts of “not creative enough”, “there are better designs by others” come to my mind, that’s when all creative juices actually dry out. My heart can’t be happy when my mind puts me down.
Are there different ways to be creative? Yes, creativity is anything that makes us happy, that comes directly from our heart: when we write about how we feel, or design and plant our flower beds, or contact a friend after a long time, and help with their pathway to inner happiness (also as a “Kindness” entry). Anything could be creative.
I would frequently think: “But there’s so much to do — to find time for exercises, meditation, writing each day”, etc. — my mind goes on again. If I had to anything for my family or friends, I’d do it in an instant. Why can’t I do something for myself?
My mind would start again: “After 21 days I can at least stop writing the Journal and Gratitude, as it’ll be OK, job finished, I can rest.” Then my heart responds: “For how long were you not happy enough? Do you actually want to be happy or just “happy enough”? Is there too much happiness, so much that you couldn’t handle much more?”
Now when I see there is more to be written or done for my Happiness project, I look forward to it. I decided that a gift of Gratitude Journal from my late friend is just the right thing for me. I’m grateful NOW and I shall be in the future, so I’ll need it to write the things that I’m grateful for.
Does a meditation of 1 hour each day take that hour from something important? How important is it to me to be happy? Is there a “lump sum” of happiness to be used all at once? If there was a finite amount of happiness — then maybe. But there is no limit to happiness, there is no amount enough to last me a lifetime.
If there was a holiday that had be enough to last me a lifetime — how would I choose? An overseas holiday? How long would it have to be to last me a lifetime of never again going anywhere? How great party would have to be the one I attend, if it was the only party I’d visit in my life? How great a concert — if it was my last concert ever?
I don’t have to choose between sewing, writing, gardening, they are all food for my soul. It’s like asking me to choose between fruit and a cake. On some days I want one or another, on other days none or both.
It’s OK to skip a day on writing. It’s OK to have a lot to enter on another day. As long as I monitor that my table has as many entries as possible, it’s becoming my habit to keep check on my daily progress.
If I didn’t do something that makes me happy, I make a point of doing something before the day ends. It’s like checking work email in the morning, mid day and before end of work day. My happiness is my most important job.
There’s no measuring device for happiness, no time limit, no strict rules. We can only use a guideline by others, then develop our own understanding of our happiness and what makes OUR heart ‘sing’.
Now I HAVE enough time for anything and everything, I HAVE enough time for my Pathway to Happiness, which does not have an ending, because it twists all the time, intertwines with pathways of people close to me, then winds around some new unexplored areas, then intertwines with new people and keeps going.
There’s no end to new things that I discover along that pathway, because the time I was nearby — I didn’t notice something beautiful, and there it is: a beautiful bird, a flower, a fruit tree.
The possibility of noticing those things, the beauty around me and in me was always there, but I didn’t allow myself to truly see it. Now I do, and I don’t want that pathway to have an end. I am happy NOW. I am in the Now.
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