Mind, body & heart connection — I believe in Science

Selima Dedic
Aug 27, 2017 · 13 min read

Science is defined by its ability to analyse conditions and processes, measure results, and successfully replicate them within similar conditions. Could we really change our reality by working from within — by increasing self-love and love for others?

How does this relate to our influence on psychological and physiological responses to our environment? I was raised to believe mostly in science, and even watching my grandmother regularly praying — was something that in my mind was simply a tradition. Nothing else, but a belief that she needed to do it for her inner peace and happiness.

For me as a child and later a teenager, beliefs were more concentrated on immediate rewards, such as chocolate, fresh apples from our garden, or later on — going out with my friends.

My grandmother’s life and my mother’s upbringing were only steps that confirmed what I believed — women (and men) had been different before, had different aspirations to mine and used completely different methods to achieve them. The first time that I started to seriously contemplate about life, mind and points of view — was in high school.

I was being exposed to more existential questions and books in literature and philosophy classes, which made me fall in love with Sartre, Niche and similar authors. It was maybe too early to understand everything, but I wondered. A term of “an absolute truth” was what woke me up from dosing off in class.

I argued with my teacher that there was no absolute truth, as it was all related to our environment’s conditioning, let alone that no human being could perceive what might be “absolute”, due to our relatively short life spans within the Universe’s time related changes. Our discussion lasted the entire class duration. My point was that only a Relative Truth could exist — as seen from a human being’s perspective.

In other classes we were taught about biology and our close connection with animal species, while everything was presented as a “clear cut” Darwin’s theory. A survival mode had always been present and it had always directed human behaviour and our potential physiological system “upgrades”. The same view was taught in other subjects — history, geography, mathematics, physics and chemistry.

There was always a system that would either break down due to a stress placed on it by the environment, or would evolve into a higher functioning system.


Years later I was trying to memorise that mitochondria produced energy in our cells, so I drew a factory roof. Now I think about them as factories that might improve their setup to a “greener” production process. If the science says that we inherit mitochondria and the way it functions from our mothers, it’s easy to see why it was thought that genes had been the main indicators of our predisposition for some illness, conditions or behaviour.

Now the science says differently: our environment is to blame. While doctors still ask about our family medical history, they also advise us how to change an inherited behavioural pattern to minimise or avoid getting those conditions and illnesses.

For years they told us that fat was the main culprit for our unhealthy body, while now we constantly hear that the sugar and salt are more damaging than fat. It reminds me of the Earth being a sphere for centuries even though science (and religions) were preaching that it was a flat disk. The absolute truth is (yes — I now think there is such a term) — the Earth didn’t care whether someone thought of it in one or another shape. It simply was.

Could science be wrong again today? Or is it increasingly proving that there is something different than just throwing an apple and it always falls on the ground?

A research was done on genes and inherited characteristics as observed on numerous identical twins that were adopted and grew up in different environments. Years later many of the twin sets had quite different physical appearances. Some individuals were taller and even had more youthful appearance than their twin siblings. It meant that the science behind genetic predispositions as the main health or behavioural indicator — had been wrong.

Our environments are more important than genes, and it’s a combination of those genes with highly nurturing environments that produces the best outcomes — healthy and happy human beings.

How your metabolism reacts to external irritants, or if it even sees them as “dangerous” to your body — is also conditioned by your beliefs, emotions and previous exposures.

Some allergies slowly disappear as we get used to those irritants, such as my hay fever being quite debilitating in the first year of living in Melbourne to now being non existent.

There are even skin allergies where doctors inform us of their causes being unknown, but researchers observed that patients were living in a highly stressful environment, or had experienced a very stressful event prior to the symptoms appearance. The longer the stress was present, the longer it took to disappear, if ever. My mother had developed such a skin condition when she didn’t know whether my older sister would escape a war.

Years later I developed a similar problem when my mother was sick of cancer. Both times the doctors’ predicaments were so vague. After my mother passed away, I tried every prescribed cream, some even organic, and nothing worked. Eventually the most natural methods were working, including self-love and a skin moisturiser, rather than a cortisone cream, with meditations to help me with my grief.

I now understand that self-love was the most important act — caring for my skin with gentle applications of a moisturising cream was a subliminal message — I believed to be worthy of being loved and alive.


One research was done by injecting cancer cells to sharks and each time the sharks were free of cancer after 2–3 days. Is it possible that because they didn’t feel threatened — was what prevented them from the disease? Could humans heal or prevent diseases by working on their happiness and self-worth? If it is — affirmations of love and self-acceptance could take us away from over thinking about the future and past. If it isn’t — we could still benefit from it, while we wait for the science to catch up.


A couple of years ago I read a medical research analysis on whether pain could be controlled internally to use less of pain reduction medications. I already had known about a Placebo effect of healing by believing that something would help us. This particular research was focused on healing outcomes as well as pain control. The researchers observed a faster recovery rate of patients with a similar age and surgery outcome’s expectancy if they were religious or spiritual. Also they needed less pain killer, so there was a decreased nurse attendance required in night shifts.

The conclusion was that this should be studied further to become possibly replicated with other patients. This is clearly something that science is good at: giving us numbers to compare. It’s up to all of us, not only medical professionals, to find solutions.

If we could clearly see our physiological changes, including DNA and brain activities, perhaps we would be much closer to understanding ourselves. Dr Joe Dispenza (there are many Youtube videos) has invited numerous professionals to monitor exactly these changes on people during and after meditations. They observed and recorded different brain sections becoming active, new connections being created, physiological changes in heart rates, and people with prolonged positive mindset and meditations produced even significant healing progress with certain diseases.

As similar changes and positive outcomes have been observed in other countries by independent researchers, some universities now employ psychologists to give free lectures on mindfulness and meditation to their students.

Mind as an animal part

Our brain still behaves as an animal part, and that is when we view everything as a danger to be avoided or a reward to be craved. Could we compare this animal remnant through the Pavlov’s dog experiment?

A dog produced saliva by hearing a bell (or opening a door to the lab), because the lab technician would feed after that sound/action.

Isn’t it why my cat runs to the fridge when I open it? Isn’t it the food aroma we smell passing near a fast food chain, or seeing from a car their symbol painted in bright colours?

If we try to use a different reward system, could we CHOOSE to connect it in our mind with something positive or negative?

If we observe our environment — it is certainly possible. I now see white bread as not something to avoid, but there’s no wish to eat it at all. I used to love white chocolate, but now mostly dark chocolate makes me wanting to buy and eat it. Soft drinks used to be everywhere in my environment in abundance. At family and friends’ events — no one buys those drinks in the amounts we used to buy those years ago.

To bring those changes to our lives — it wasn’t enough to just inform us of their negative aspects or influences on health. There had to be something positive to connect with our habits. A positive reward system had to implemented, such as making more of home made lemonade at parties, freshly squeezed orange juice available to buy on the go, or offering customers a wider range of dark chocolate and healthier bread varieties.

Excitement or Fear — conditioning our emotional response

When do we change how we feel about something we want or love — from a happy excitement emotion into a panic /fearful emotion? Remember preparations for a Christmas or another party (either organising or attending a concert, presentation, interview etc.).

How does it become not an eagerly anticipated event, but an assessment of our skills, knowledge, ability to fit in (adapt) with others and their expectations of the event?

Again the positive /reward system — is the key. It has been successfully implemented in health and community work with people struggling with alcohol and other dependencies, in youth work, with former prisoners and in work with aged care. Giving people something positive to look forward to as an incentive — makes them happier living in the present moment, whatever it might be. Instead seeing their life as something undesirable and needing a complete change, they begin to see it as potential for greatness, peaceful or exciting, whatever they prefer.

If we treat our mind as an animal leftover, we could train it the way I trained my dog — no explanations, because the animal doesn’t understand explanations. Only by using a reward for a good behaviour creates a new routine.

Reward your mind with something small at the beginning, but repeat it often, especially in the beginning of new habit training. A treat could be a smile every time we look ourselves in the mirror. It doesn’t matter if we brush our teeth; apply make up /shave, or just getting ready to go somewhere. Smile. Your mind will get accustomed to feeling good about yourself.

Punishing ourselves with negative thoughts or criticising doesn’t work. We tried it for decades in education, business, medicine and community work. The therapies that repeatedly worked and could be easily replicated were all based on LOVE.

When young people with challenging behaviour were showed acceptance, encouragement, trust in their skills and potential, they flourished regardless of their previous upbringing or reactive behaviour.

Whether you are your own supporter or critic — is the most important role of, and by your heart. Affirming that you have a great value in the world, that your opinions matter, your actions have impact on others — might give you that boost to be more responsible to others. Clearly only thinking about yourself — and the importance to be kind to yourself for that reason — doesn’t work.

How about being responsible for your family and friends, for the wellbeing of your colleagues, of your neighbours, of others who meet and greet you while shopping, walking your dog or anything in between? Would you act irresponsibly if a neighbour’s child was running after a ball into the street traffic? What about a person standing on a bridge? Or a teenager looking depressed and seeing only what is in front of his/her shoes?

We are equally responsible to ourselves and to others, as our actions may demonstrate to others what’s possible.

They could start dreaming or even planning to do something differently, to step out of their comfort zone, to challenge themselves and show beautiful talent to sing, dance, and form a support group to other people in a similar situation or with similar interests.

Be an example and inspiration to others — of whatever you wish that someone has inspired you while you were growing up. Find some written affirmations online or create your own, and repeat them OFTEN. The key is not to create something very long, but sentences which “ring the bell”, which resonate with you, which you could easily remember and repeat to yourself as you walk, drive, wait in line.

The easier you could repeat them, the better they would work. Repeat them slowly (in your mind or loud) and think of those words. Imagine any pictures, colours, or body actions that you could associate with those words — to the meaning they could have for you.

Changed perspective = changed emotions

Scientists now say that our metabolism represents how we feel about ourselves and that we could change that view. Look at your life as objectively as you can from all aspects, sides and observation points. What its blueprint looks like — depends on the previously viewed or learned viewing methods.

If you needed to describe your current life as one of a client — would you view it from a bird’s view, side view or would you need to climb on an elevated point to truly see your life within a larger perimeter (your neighbourhood, city, country)? How much the climate influences your behaviour and self-esteem?

Are these points of observation based on an insider point of view (being part of the problem)? Could you observe it from outside, independent of the current environment — becoming your own solution to the problem? How much the sort or energy we produce and radiate outwards is based on the value we have of our inner self? We have heard and witnessed how pregnant women look “radiant”; how people we know look different when they fall in love; how someone working on their hobby forgets about time.

The kind of energy we radiate outwards is like a marketing tool our ego needs to create and attract interest (by others). Here is the problem — it needs to be an interest by ourselves too.

How we feel about something — an event, our action, our achievement — is what makes the difference in observation of our self. Every memory or opinion we have of someone — is how we also feel about ourselves.

There is an old joke (or wisdom) about a businessman being on a holiday in a different country — fishing and talking to a local fisherman, who was going home for an afternoon break. The businessman advised the fisherman that if he skipped his afternoon breaks to fish longer each day, then buy a boat, then fish more, sell more at a market, he could eventually be able to visit some distant countries and do whatever he wants. The fisherman said that he was already doing it.

When you recall something you regret — how do you feel? I know — it makes you think of all the movie clichés where a therapist asks their client: “And how does that make you feel?” That is the point — how something makes us feel is the most important aspect of how we view our life, achievements (or lack of), and our potential future. Could we start seeing our life as the fisherman did, instead of being influenced by the businessman’s opinion?

Real estate marketers clearly understand this connection between our mind (ego) and what our body needs: create a belief in buyers that this is perfect and it will become perfect.

Using smells (flower perfume and freshly baked cookies), de-clutter to create feeling of free space = potential, and all of these techniques create feelings which connect to our heart (memories). If we try to see our life as a staged home — the more we observed it as an outsider, the more we could become accustomed to a different point of view.


It brings to mind another anecdote of a man selling his horse and telling all the negative reasons why he’s selling it: old, hard headed, eats a lot, … A man who was usually a seller for others told him that it was a wrong way to sell the horse. He then started shouting: “A great horse who worked hard to take me to far away places, helped me harvest my land, and is great around children, now sadly I need to sell it even though he’s part of my family.” The horse’s owner then changed his mind and took the horse back home.

Many home owners feel this “change of mind” as they repair their home prior to selling it, splashing a new paint, rearranging the furniture and planting new flowers. Then they feel sad, as they finally realise how they were previously unaware of their home’s true potential for greatness.

Do you need to analyse “selling” your home, your inner self, to someone (new job, new partner, new friends) — to finally realise how great you are?

Your true home, the inner wisdom and potential for greatness — is with you all the time wherever you go. YOU create that homeliness — the warmth of human connection with others. Love your home and you’ll feel happy and at home everywhere.

Let’s do some little changes and repairs to our (inner) home, rather than waiting for the sale time. Small changes in our behaviour could remind us of our inner potential to be a lovely and warm environment for another person to be loved by us, or to love us; for a new pet, child, an elderly friend or a neighbour.

You could fall in love with your home and decide that it’s actually lovely and you like living in it. Allow yourself to fall in love with your life and with your inner self. Hug yourself. Tell yourself that you’re beautiful and worthy, that you believe in yourself, you are loved and lovable; you love your life now and will work on it to be even better. The science backs you up 100%!

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Selima Dedic

Written by

Curious about Silence. When my mind talk goes onto paper, my head feels lighter.

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