Leaders Learn to Cry!
I called it my crying day.
I would drive to the beach every summer by myself. I would arrive before sunset knowing that I would be sitting there for about 4–5 hours.
I had my music picked out, and the spot was always the same, it was one of the lifeguard towers towards the end of the beach, where nobody could see me.
I would take off my shoes and socks, set down my towel, turn on my music while simultaneously listening to the sound of the waves, and the tears would begin.
I wanted to be alone because this was my crying day.
I would hold in all my emotions throughout the year because I rarely saw men cry, and I pieced together that men don’t need to feel, but just solve the issue.
I would make up any excuse so that nobody would suspect what I was doing. There was still a sense of shame in doing what I was doing.
I would prepare myself because I knew that my emotions would overtake my body creating a marathon of tears.
I wouldn’t even think or try to make decisions I would just cry.
It was my crying day!
It would take so much energy, but it’s how I coped with not showing emotion, with not communicating my feelings, with not showing what I thought was a weakness.
Now, I don’t know if it’s since Taly was born, but the slightest emotional experience makes me bawl.
Sometimes we will be watching TV with Sharon, and she will look over to see if what happened on TV made me cry, obviously I am, and we both start to laugh.
I cry when a couple exchanges vows, when a singer finally turns a judges chair, and even on stage while giving a speech.
I learned that for me it wasn’t healthy to hold in all my emotions and release for one day, thinking they will go away.
I was walking around with all that shit on my mind pretending to LEAD; I was pretending that I was strong and that everything was ok.
We all have issues, we all have pains, and we all have trouble dealing with them, but I promise you that crying is one of the best medications to letting go and helping with the heartbreak.
If you are leading a family or a team, the fact that you don’t show emotion is not your superpower; it’s your kryptonite.
I don’t ever apologize for crying and neither should you.
Today I pray that I will be the father that Taly can come to when some “boy” breaks her heart, the husband for Sharon when she has a bad day, or when one of my loved ones or clients needs to release all that emotion they have been holding in.
Today, I encourage you to feel that emotion, to cry if it is what you feel, and to be authentic so that nobody can question who you are.
Today is one of my many crying days!