When Fun Now is Not Fun Later

The Tension Between Short-Term and Long-Term Decisions

I recently completed a 77 mile solo wilderness hike through the Sierra mountains (more on that coming soon), and during my hike I got a two word message on my satellite communicator from my wife. It simply read “Having fun?”

I had no idea how to answer that question. My body ached, my “bad” foot was in significant pain, and I was suffering from mild altitude sickness while pushing myself to hike 10 hours straight carrying four days of gear and rations on my back. But I was also hiking through breathtaking views, enjoying the solitude, and successfully working toward a goal I had set out to accomplish for months. Was I having fun? There wasn’t a simple answer.

Hiking in the Sierras

Over the next few hours and dozen or so miles, I formulated the thoughts I would eventually write in this blog — about the complexity of a simple question as “having fun?” — a question we should regularly ask ourselves not just about our day to day activities but also our careers and personal lives.

The first thing I thought of was a Google talk by world famous thru hiker Andrew Skurka, in which Andrew described three different types of fun. As I was hiking up and down the mountains, I built upon his concepts and visualized the following quadrants:

There are at least four types of “fun” shaped which perspective we choose

Type I — This is an activity which is fun now and also considered fun to think about later. This is the rare and idealized activity that truly captures some of the happiest moments of our lives. For me, it might be seeing the happiness on my children’s faces on their birthday, or bringing joy to a close friend.

Type II — These are activities that we look back on fondly but were difficult at the time. My hike, I decided, largely fell in this category. Physically in pain, I was still enjoying my experience because I knew I was accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish, and that overcoming the struggle that I chose to overcome. Looking back I would say it was one of the best activities I’ve done all year, but in the moment it was complicated. Type II fun is the kind of stuff that you and your friends talk and laugh about for years, even if the actual event wasn’t so pleasant. This is what creates lifelong bonds and some of our most cherished memories.

Type III — Not fun now and not fun later. These are the events you sign up for that you know you probably won’t enjoy but do anyway due to social pressure or just inability to say no. Even though it’s supposed to be a fun activity, and even though some others find it fun, you’re not enjoying the moment while you’re there and you definitely won’t be enjoying its memory. Learning to say no to these types of “fun” events is an important discipline.

Type IV — These are the things that seem fun at the time but we generally regret later. Drinking too much at a party and then suffering from a hangover (or worse), or doing something else shortsighted which seemed like a good idea at the time but turned out to be something we are not so proud of.

These are the types of images you get when doing an image search on google for “fun” — however, none of the fun times in my life were running around with my hands over my head at sunset. The funnest times in my life have been when I’ve overcome some sort of struggle or problem set, and did it alongside people I cared about.

Takeaway: The question of “having fun?” is not as simple as it sounds:

• If we find ourselves in the rare Type I fun, have the mindfulness to truly appreciate such a rare moment.
• If we find ourselves in Type II fun, we can embrace the struggle knowing it is what we will look back on with the greatest of reverence.
• If we find ourselves in Type III fun, it’s usually because it’s something that is “supposed” to be fun but just isn’t for us. Cut your losses and abort.
• If we find ourselves in Type IV fun, make sure this is appropriately bounded. It’s ok to have some short term fun at long term expense, but at least be mindful of the true trade off you are making.

I strive for as much Type I and Type II as possible, cut out Type IV completely, and have reduced Type III to a minimum. Ask yourself… what percentage of your fun falls in which category, and is that the balance you want for yourself?

Another few hours into my hike I realized that my “fun model” is just a special case of the more generalized tension between short term and long term interest that pulls us every moment of our lives. When generalizing the above theory, one gets the following four types of activities:

How much of your life do you spend in each quadrant? Is it intentional? Who decides this for you?

I find the generalized activity model to be even more intuitive than the fun model. We all know some people who spend time in Type III; self-destructive behavior which hurts both their short term and long term self-interest. That’s relatively easier to identify. Most of us are however switching back and forth between Type II and Type IV, balancing what’s good for us in the short term and the long term, which tend to be at odds.

For example, going to the gym early in the morning may not feel good but is good for our long term health. Staying up late to finish work may be better for our short term goals but the degradation of sleep damages our long term health. Saying yes to a social event can make us feel good tonight, but may further postpone the more important projects you want to accomplish in your life.

The trade-off between the “now you” and the “future you” is one of the most basic tension of human life. It’s the classic tension between the now you setting a 6am alarm for future you, but when 6am rolls around, you are not your future you, you are the now you again. It is only the now you that can take actions, there is no future you.

The activity quadrants are of course a spectrum and not binary (or quadinary?). For example, in the below matrix I highlight a common situation in which something is fun to do now and is basically neutral for us in the future. We can watch some Netflix/YouTube tonight and get our mind off matters without causing any long term harm. Certainly, that isn’t so bad. To me the main question is whether one is aware on how they spend their time. Are you doing it because it’s how you want to live your life, or is it happening due to lack of knowing how you want to live your life?

I’m not advocating that we should never do things for short term joy. I am human after all and if you cut me I do bleed. We all feel these tensions, and the most important point is to be mindful of it all. If we are entering Type IV activities, we should do so knowingly and embracing it as part of a balanced life. My hope is that the more aware we become of our decisions, the more we can create a decision architecture to make it easier to choose Type I and II activities while reducing the inherent tension. That means interrogating some of our fundamental values and goals in life.

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. — Steve Jobs

See also: The Eisenhower Matrix