According to the Myers-Briggs personality test, I’m pretty strongly extroverted.
In real life, outside social media, this couldn’t be more true. I spend as much time as I possibly can around people. Even if I absolutely have to work by myself, I’ll usually do that in a crowded cafe, filled with people.
When I’m feeling exhausted, I recharge myself by going out and spending time with people. Socialising is a giant part of my day. I love the people I know, I love meeting new people, and spending time around others is among my favourite activities.
I’m very much the extrovert stereotype.
But, I’m the complete opposite on social media. Unless I’m specifically arranging to meet someone, I really don’t like using social media at all. It takes a lot of nagging from my close friends and a lot of effort on my part for me to actually sit down and reply to messages and comments. I still haven’t replied to all the messages congratulating me on my graduation from 8 months ago. Replying to people — or messaging people I’ve been wanting to catch up with — is something I actively have to sit down and schedule.
It’s the same with all types of social media. I deleted my Snapchat account years ago because I never remembered to actually use it, and because all the snaps and messages to reply to were adding up. With Snapchat being so instant, by the time I actually got round to replying to messages, they weren’t relevant anymore.
I’m not active at all on Facebook. I use it to keep up with events and I find it incredibly useful in that area. But every time I do log on to check out the events, I sincerely hope there aren’t that many messages or notifications to respond to.
I do use Instagram more than my other social media accounts, but far less than average. I post maybe a couple of times a month, and then go entire months without posting anything at all. My stack of messages to reply to is constantly piling up, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never (or perhaps only once) used the Story feature.
And then there’s Whatsapp. I use Whatsapp the most out of the different social media options. I use it quite often for work. If not for work, I try to use it to keep up with my friends all over the globe, but I go days forgetting to check it. Even when I actively have someone on my mind and want to catch up with them, it takes a lot of effort for me to actually take out my phone and message them.
So why do I have this discrepancy? I’ve thought of a few possible reasons:
1. Being on my phone distracts me from being with people
As I mentioned, I’m with people a lot of the time. If I’m up early before work, I like to meet friends for breakfast. If I’m taking breaks at work, I like to spend that time talking to my colleagues. In the evenings after work, I’m almost always with either friends or family. If I’m not with people, then I like to spend that time doing the things I do when I’m alone — such as writing, or reading, or going to the gym.
So, when I’m with people, I don’t want to distract myself from being with them by going on my phone to talk to other people instead.
2. Extroverts are usually masters at non-verbal communication
Extroverts pick up on unspoken signs from the people around them. The changes in someone’s facial expressions, their tone, their body language… all of these send signals to an extrovert. Without these signs, communication becomes very different.
Through social media, non-verbal communication is almost eliminated, and it’s all about sending written messages, which can be strange for an extrovert. More than strange, for me, it gets a bit exhausting.
3. A lot of extroversion and introversion has to do with energy
For people who are only moderately extroverted or moderately introverted, this might not make such a big difference. But energy levels do make a very significant difference to those of us on extreme ends of the spectrum.
One of the biggest tells of whether a person is extroverted or introverted is how they recharge — where they get their energy from when they’re exhausted. For extroverts, it’s from socialising with other people. But that energy doesn’t just come from a few pings on a mobile phone. It comes from the laughs and the voices and the movement and the proximity. All those are lacking over social media.
There’s a great website called Coffitivity, which re-creates the lively sounds of a cafe or university campus to help people focus and work better. For my moderately extroverted friends, this really works. But for me, it’s not a substitute to actually being surrounded by movement and by other people.
4. I get so involved in what I’m doing
Whatever I’m doing, I tend to be very much into it. When I’m with my friends, I’m fully with my friends. When I’m reading, I’m fully reading. So it just doesn’t occur to me to stop what I’m doing and take a picture for Instagram or interrupt what I’m doing to reply to text messages.
For most people, this wouldn’t be considered ‘stopping’ what they’re doing or ‘interrupting’ anything. For me, however, it would be a rift.
Personality traits don’t necessarily carry along onto social media, especially for those of us at extreme ends of the spectrum. For the generation that’s growing up reliant on social media as a focal point for communication and interaction, I wonder how that’ll change.
