Struggles of someone who has been single for most of her life

Yong Tien Cin
Jan 9, 2018 · 3 min read
I guess why not, since its a word I can fully resonate with
  1. She can’t really differentiate between family, friends and boyfriends, and treats all relationships the same which some might misunderstood her intentions (point 2).
  2. She invites guys over to her place with no other intention other than hanging out as friends and assumes the guy thinks the same; and her new roommates thinks she is a slut because they see a new guy every time she has a guest over.
  3. She didn’t understand the term “blowjob”, “quickie” , or how to use a “massager”; leaving her friend’s in disbelief and pity.
  4. When she actually got an invitation to ‘Netflix and chill’, she literally thought it was just chilling and watching Netflix.
  5. She gets too independent and somewhat feminist so she can get pretty strong-headed and doesn’t like to ask for unnecessary help. (e.g. I can carry my own groceries, thank you)
  6. She doesn’t understand why it takes so long for people to get over a break-up or what it means to be “heartbroken”.
  7. She enjoys being alone and would rather spend time doing solo activities (e.g. reading, yoga etc.) than, well- Netflix and chill (literally and figuratively).
  8. She can’t be with just one person ALL THE TIME. She is eager to meet and interact with people- of familiar faces and new.
  9. She can’t take hints when a guy is showing signs of affection. E.g. If a guy texts her everyday, she assumes he just wants to keep in touch as friends.
  10. She freaks out and thinks there is something wrong when a guy tells her he likes her because she’s not used to that and isn’t sure how to respond.
  11. She has to deal with inner insecurity issues (back to point no. 6 & 7) developed from years of being single surrounded by peers whom are in a romantic relationship.
  12. And If she DOES get into a romantic relationship, it doesn’t last very long because of- all if not most of the above.

As you probably can tell, this is me speaking from my own experience. I’m 23 years old and I’ve only been in ONE relationship that some might not even consider as one (because it only lasted around 2 months).

So yes I would say I have been single for most of my life.

#Thestruggleisreal but you know what? That’s perfectly ok.

Because there is no shame in being single. It’s not a curse nor a punishment, It’s an opportunity; an opportunity to better myself, to cultivate friendships and build social networks, to explore and be open to whatever adventure awaits.

Being single doesn’t mean I’m alone. Being single tells me I’m strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.

It taught me the need to love myself, to be my own source of happiness, and lastly; to value the importance of developing and maintaining sturdy (non-romantic) relationships.

So know that you’re never alone, and being alone is a choice not a circumstance from being single.

Some days I like to hibernate under my blankets with a good book; other days when I feel the need to socialize, I call up a few friends to ask how they are doing and see who’s up for a spontaneous meet up. Or I might even just go alone and “be a friend” to the people around me. Because we all start as strangers, do you agree?

Thanks for reading!

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