In that comment is a request to connect. In that moment we have a choice, to either “turn towards” or “turn away” as Gottman calls it.
Discovering Gottman Bids, a tool for processing relational conflict
Jesse Parent
21
This makes so much sense, and I think for me it’s something that I’ve always naturally responded to with anyone I’m interested in or care about, so I would expect reciprocation and believe that person doesn’t care or isn’t interested if it doesn’t happen. The fact that it doesn’t just naturally happen for everyone is something for me to think about! I think in that case this information will be very useful and I wish stuff about relationships and interaction was taught in school, but it’s something I can at least focus on sharing with my kids :)