3 Myth Busters on Christian Dating & Relationships
1) Real Christians Don’t Date
There’s this idea that dating is something that real Christians wouldn’t be involved in. From the information that’s out there I’ve gotten the depiction that you shouldn’t date unless you think they could be husband material. I think this is a dangerous outlook. A date is simply and interview. You go out with someone you talk and get to know that person over a mean or a fun activity. If the two of you decide to go on a second date the interview continues. Dates can be a fun way to socialize with another person without pressure. Nowhere in the bible does it say, don’t go out with “Johnny” unless the two of you are planning to get married. Yes, it takes TWO to tango, so you can want marriage or think “Johnny” is a great candidate for a spouse but if you two haven’t discussed and agreed he is not “your husband”. Stop telling your friends you just “met your husband”. Let a man lead and express clear and direct interest before you get your heart entangled. Proverbs 19:2, “Even zeal without knowledge is not good”.
2) If you desire a spouse you’re not focused on God
You just don’t spend enough time with God. This one drives me crazy everything I hear it or see it somewhere. There’s also a rumor that’s going around that if you’re not content with being single it’s because you don’t spend enough time with God and you’re not focus on him. This one is part of the very reason I’ve always shied away from even mentioning the topic in my books or blog. When I first heard some of this thing they sounded good at the beginning of my born again virgin, committing to purity (not having sex again until I’m married, to honor God with my body) journey. Then 2 years…3 years… 4 years… 5 years… in these ideas just got old. It made me feel like something was wrong with me. I shouldn’t feel the way I feel because I’m young fly and sanctified.
Jesus knows your hearts desires and he wants to fulfill them his way, in his divine timing. Psalm 145:16 NIV, “You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.” We just want to make sure that are motives are pure and that we don’t seek God for his hand, but his heart. Therefore, not being okay of not seeing a change in this area of your life if doesn’t mean you are not godly or an idol worshiper. I call it being real. If the woman with the issue of blood ignored her hemorrhaging she probably would have died.
Desire is Okay
You are not alone. You are in good company. In 1 Samuel 1 there was a woman named Hannah who also experienced the same disappointment. Hannah was one
of two wives of a man named Ramathaim. Hannah was a woman of God who was faithful and righteous. Although Hannah was righteous had no children, the other wife had baby after baby year after year.
In 1 Samuel 1 verse 5 -8 “But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the LORD had closed her womb. Because the LORD had closed
Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival
provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Hannah poured out her care to the Lord. God remembered Hannah’s cry, and he will remember yours.
3) When you meet “the one” you’ll just know right away
Zeal without knowledge can be dangerous. We want to be careful not to jump to conclusions and always bring things to God in prayer instead of making assumptions. You may hear stories of couples who said they knew the “the one” right away. Just because that is their story doesn’t mean it will be yours. Anytime we don’t have proper knowledge about something we open up ourselves to deception of the enemy. Everything that God creates, satan tries to copy as a counterfeit.
I remember meeting a guy a few years ago. We met a restaurant while grabbing lunch and he insisted on paying for my food while we were in line then we exchanged phone numbers. After getting acquainted on the phone for a few months we finally went on a first date. We went to see a movie then walked and talked for a while. There just seemed to be “something” about him that I really liked. As the day dwindled down and it was time to say goodbye we stood in front of each other holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes with childlike smiles and grins on our faces. I didn’t want the date to end and he didn’t either. He said, “I could just stand here all day with you”. As more time went on we had this crazy attraction to each other, its’ called infatuation. He wanted to go to Las Vegas and get married and spend the rest of our lives together. I “felt” like he was certainly “the one”. It had been so long since I met someone who I could sit and talk to on the phone forever. I like everything about him, he always made me smile.
Then I began to have these crazy dreams about him. They would always start out good then have a negative twist. Like this one dream, he sent me a huge gift box
full of presents I was so excited when I got them, but when I opened them they had labels on them that said “warning could cause cancer”. Dreams like this one were warnings from God that he wasn’t everything he was presenting himself to be.
I knew those feelings from the beginning had to mean he was the one. Do you see how unwise it can be to make assumptions? Even if he expresses interest in you and the desire for marriage you have to prayerfully discern if the relationship is the will of God for you.
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