God, my God — it’s not you changing that makes grace more evident through different seasons in my life. It’s me.

You see – I forget who you are. I choose defeat in the midst of the victory that you have already declared on my behalf. I think that you wont understand. And I don’t truly believe that you have the power to change the unchangeable or that you are in control. I am still fighting to be my own god. I think that if I make x amount of money, or if I do x, y and z, my life will okay. But despite my changing tactics and strategies, yours has always remained the same – relentless patience and love.

Relentless. In that respect – it’s you and not me. You are perfect. You are good. And you are perfectly good. Despite what I deserve – it’s your perfectness that continues to cover me in a patience and love that I do not deserve or understand, beckoning me to surrender. But it’s not a surrender to defeat but rather the complete opposite. I surrender, and it is you that kneels again to wash my feet.

The insatiable appetite for comfort and glitter is part of my human condition. My heart is fickle and easily swayed. Who am I — what have I done to deserve anything. Absolutely nothing. So may I live the truth that every good and perfect gift comes from You — You who has and will not change.