67 questions I have about this picture

I stumbled upon this picture this morning, and I have questions.

Here they are.

1- why did this picture happen?

2- whose idea was it?

3- who told them to smile like that?

4- why is Sadiq ‘SADIQ’ and Andy ‘ANDY’ but Ed and Jim don’t have their names on their shirts?

5- why are Jim Murphy’s shorts so short?

6- was there a dress-code but no-one told Jim Murphy so he just had to own up and be the one with the short shorts?

7- is Andy running with his eyes closed?

8- is Andy running with both his arms kind of to one side?

9- had Andy ever ran before this picture was taken?

10- was it, in fact, Andy’s first attempt at running and the others were just trying to be supportive?

11- why does Ed’s hair look like it’s catching the wind even though it looks like they’re pretending to be running?

12- why is Sadiq wearing his entrance number as a fig leaf?

13- why is Sadiq subtly clutching his own side while running?

14- can you really run while clutching your own side?

15- had Sadiq ever ran before this picture was taken?

16- was it, in fact, Jim and Ed being nice and teaching Sadiq and Andy how to run?

[zooms in]

17- had Andy ever been this happy before?

18- will he ever be as happy again?

19- has anyone ever been this happy while running?

20- is Ed running while giving thumbs up or was he in the process of giving a thumbs up to the camera when this picture was taken?

21- is it even possible to run as a group when you’re all that close to each other?

22- wouldn’t it have looked less weird if they were just running side to side, not glued to each other?

23- were they actually glued to each other?

24- did someone blackmail them and forced them to run a race while glued to each other and grinning like maniacs for the cameras?

25- what kind of monster would make them do this?

26- do they all have kind of tiny hands apart from Jim who has normal hands?

27- or has Jim got big hands and so in comparison all the other hands look small?

28- no but seriously, did no-one tell Sadiq that it’s just not where you put a registration number if you go running?

29- wouldn’t your crotch get all sweaty and then the regstration number would fall off?

30- this is a really gross mental image, why did I think of that?

31- I’ve never ran a marathon before, does your crotch actually get sweaty?

32- why does Ed have a URL for his JustGiving page but the others don’t?

33- was Ed trying to get all the donations for himself?

34- how could you remember a URL just from seeing it on someone running past you?

35- is something wrong with Jim’s nose? I’d never noticed before but now I’m staring at the picture I feel like there may be?

[zooms again]

36- was Jim subtly trying to push Andy out of the picture?

37- did Jim not think that the photographer would probably notice if he was trying to do that?

38- is there a secret feud between Andy and Jim that we don’t know about?

39- is Andy the one who made Jim lose his seat?

40- is Andy actually an SNP spy?

41- why are none of them carrying water?

42- is Sadiq’s hair always perfect?

43- what does Sadiq put in his hair?

44- Sadiq and Ed’s hair look quite similar — do they use the same hair products?

45- are Sadiq and Ed having an affair?

[more zooming]

46- are they trying to tell us something?

47- oh my god, could you imagine if Sadiq and Ed were having an affair?

48- does Jim ever look at this picture just to remind himself of the good times he had in the Labour party?

49- why are there no women in the picture?

50- did Labour forget that they had women?

51- is there a thing in Labour where women don’t run?

52- has anyone ever seen a female Labour MP run?

[zooms harder]

53- wait, what’s up with Jim’s neck?

54- had anyone ever noticed Jim’s weird neck?

55- does he always have a weird neck or is it just because he was running?

56- are we even really sure he was running at all?

57- why are Andy’s shorts so blue?

58- also is it just me or do Andy’s shorts look like they have a weird texture?

59- was Ed jumping and not running?

60- would that explain why his hair is kind of up?

61- does that cast a shadow over the theory that Sadiq and Ed are having an affair?

62- is this picture in fact the reason why Labour lost in May?

63- will there be a judge-led inquiry into why and how this picture happened?

64- could I be the judge?

65- I know I don’t have the qualifications but also has anyone spent more time staring at that picture than I have?

66- does anyone have Jeremy Corbyn’s phone number because the public clearly deserves answers about this?

67- like, seriously, WHY?

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