Every embarrassing #indieamnesty anecdote I can remember

In order, from mid-2005 til mid-2009.

In 2006, I described Naive by the Kooks as “simply magnificent” on my blog.
In 2006, I wrote a review of Whatever People Say I Am That’s What I’m Not saying it was sell-out garbage because they’d edited the demos too much.
In 2006, I decided to create my own awards on my music blog because the NME Awards had become “a joke”.
In 2006, I typed up the whole NME Cool List from the magazine for French readers who may not have access to physical copies.
In 2007, I wrote a whole article “shaming” people who wore Rolling Stones t-shirts even though they clearly didn’t like rock’n’roll.
In 2007, Klaxons played in my hometown, so I created a contest on my blog, to see who could turn up while carrying the most glowsticks. Turns out only one shop in my hometown sold them so when I went to buy some for myself they’d already sold out.
In 2007, I created a music website called MDMAZING because I’d read the word in a Klaxons interview in NME and I thought it sounded cool — because I was in France, no one ever understood what it meant.
In 2007, I created a girl gang with three friends and we called ourselves The Four Horsegirls Of The Apocalypse, after the Klaxons song. We ended up having to competing indie gang in our hometown, the Kingdom and the Wardrobes.
In 2008, I wrote a “Back To 2005” article because I thought indie music had lost its way.
In 2008, I talked about Sartre with the singer from These New Puritans thinking it would lead me to snogging him. It didn’t.
In 2008, I convinced my friend to drive the drummer of Foals to McDonalds because he had a McDonalds craving, thinking it would lead to me snogging him. It didn’t.
In 2008, I hung out with Foals, got so drunk I fell asleep in their tourbus, they didn’t wake me up so I missed their gig.
In 2008, I ended up backstage with Carl Barat and his friends; I was too drunk so didn’t talk to them, preferring to spend the evening throwing up in the toilets instead.
In 2008, I went drinking with FuckButtons after their gig and they insisted on wanting to get plastered then one of them fell asleep in the car on the way to the bar so we all had to go home.
In 2008, I went drinking with the Black Lips, the drummer tried to make me and my friend listen to their new songs on his MacBook, I dropped a beer on the MacBook and it broke.
In 2008, I went drinking with the Blood Red Shoes, lied about my age to the drummer, and snogged him — the owner of the venue, who knew who I was and knew that I was under 18, saw us snogging and ordered the bartender to drive me home to my mum immediately, which he did.
In 2008, I went drinking with the Kooks and made the guitarist cry by making fun of his accent when he spoke French; meanwhile, my friend kept trying to bring the singer to a quieter corner to interview him, which he kept thinking was her wanting to get with him, which it wasn’t, so the interview had to be cancelled.
In 2008, I went to a festival as the guest of an artist so had unlimited booze, and access to the main stage; I got so drunk that I tried to go watch the Tindersticks play, sat on one of the amps onstage and passed out on it for the whole gig, in front of tens of thousands of people.
In 2009, Eugene McGuinness told me in an interview that he’d never received an award before, so my friend & I went to a nearby McDonalds, bought a Happy meal & sellotaped the toy to the top of a drink and wrote “official MDMAZING Award for our favourite singer” on it and gave it to him, thinking it would lead to me snogging him. It didn’t.