High time we address the Centuries-Old Stereotype of Success in Indian Households.
From the peaks of Kashmir to the peninsular tip of Kanyakumari, a man or woman is held in esteemed regard only when they tie the knot. Even after they do tie the knot, they’ll be looked down on if there isn’t news of pregnancy. Indian families tend to put the concept of marriage and child-bearing on a grand pedestal. The question is, does this lead to a complete life or a compromised one?
The narrative of being unsuccessful and unfortunate, if one is unmarried or decides not to have kids, haunt the minds on Indian terrain subconsciously. We are all brought up in a tradition to believe thus. For ages, our livelihood has been drastically controlled by society’s pressure to get married and have children to be able to live a successful and fulfilled life.
One could be financially stable, and self-satisfied but not socially credited if he or she isn’t married. If a person is visibly past a certain age, wherever they go, bugging marital status questionnaires follow. As a result, people hurriedly get married, rush to reproduce, and fail as a parent and a spouse. Not everybody deserves to be a parent. This perspective must sink in. Consumed by societal expectations, people sacrifice both their own and their children’s well-being, physical as well as mental. Especially mental.
Generations earlier, in most parts of the town, a mother’s pregnancy was celebrated in hopes of having a son. The couple would not rest until the woman gives birth to a boy baby, even when the family can’t afford to accommodate the number of children they have before the boy. They end up failing to cater to the necessities of a swarm of babies. This obsession has been reduced recently, thanks to education and higher cost of living; however, hasn’t been completely eradicated. The next victims are children from emotionally draining marriages. Their outlook on life drastically alters from a young age, having only seen toxicity and a social cover-up, because society looks down on divorcees too, surprisingly. It is an unfortunate wheel of cycle, the pressure to get married and the pressure to sustain the status of marriage even when it clearly wouldn’t work out.
Ultimately, if someone is not interested in marrying or being a parent, they simply must not. Striking out marital life from an outdated equation of success is the hope for a better tomorrow. A better tomorrow where consent is prioritized over daunting social expectations. The blind beliefs must be warded off. A fulfilled life can never be achieved through an obliged marriage that lacks love, respect, and friendship. We must break free from the shackles of social pressure that define success through marriage and parenthood. Especially the ones endured merely for social approval.
The drums of a marriage hall should be beaten off only if the bride and groom trust each other enough to wed. Parenthood must be welcomed warmly only when two people consciously choose to be ready. Consent should be made a crucial factor.
Dear parents, let your kid control his/her life. Do not snatch the reins from their hands in attempts to make it better or make them happier. No amount of well-settled plans you have for them could match the satisfaction of deciding for themselves. Sometimes they might take a steep step, sometimes the right path, well it's all a learning curve in the highlands of life, isn’t it?
