Why I unfollowed Zoella (and how was not about her Advent Calendar scandal)

I started following Zoe a lot of years ago when she was still leaving in her father’s house and I was still in college. She was fun, genuine and a lovely girl. I loved her channel and its content from right that moment. I followed her getting an apartment in Brighton, started going to events, when people started to want to know her and she dealt with her anxiety publicly, her first reactions to appearing in the first teen magazines and everything that followed. I’ve grown watching her channel and she was a real inspiration to me.

Until then I didn’t followed anyone on Youtube. I think I didn’t even knew where the subscription feed on my Youtube account was. Zoella was that important to me. My first ever youtuber to follow.

I loved so much her content that I started wishing for more, that was when I started knowing other youtubers as her brother, Joe, and her friend Louise and later on, Tanya.

A few years forward and my subscription box is full of some of her friends and other Youtubers I had discovered in the mean time. Youtube for me started to be more important than TV and a lot of times I chosen to watch a new video than a new episode of my favorite tv shows.

And that’s not a problem. It’s the evolution of entertainment. And I found it quite interesting.

The problem was that I lost my way.

Following Zoella grow, turn from a simple girl making videos in her bedroom to a multimillionaire (I have no idea if this is true) and popular Youtuber, watching so many bloggers as her (yes, Zoe started with a blog, not Youtube) turning from their little blogs to this mass of people by their videos, I thought that this was the direction.

I myself am a blogger. I’ve been blogging since my 14 years. I have had more blogs that I can count (10, 11, I really can’t remember) and I keep one for 5 years now (or is that 6?). I have myself started in the boom of them and have watched and engaged when the first social media websites where created. So when everyone and every single article says that to succeed as a blogger you have to start making videos, you do it!

Well, wrong.

I went and failed. I really loved Zoella and others content and tried my own and a similar content in my channel. I even done Vlogmas two years in a row and a half Vlogtober. But that didn’t made me happy. Watching their content made me happy. Making my own, editing, uploading it, making a thumbnail, writing a description, adding a link to the previous one, rewatching it and feeling hurt for how bad the result was, not that much.

I lost myself and forgot that I was a blogger. And I should have continued being a blogger. Not a vlogger, not a Youtuber, not what the articles say that I need to do, not what everyone else is trying to do.

I should be a blogger. That was what made me happy. That was what made me stay up so many nights just because I loved changing my blogs style and writing in it, that I forgot to sleep.

That was what I did every time that my heart was shattered. I would open my blog and write.

So that’s why I unfollowed Zoe. Not because of that scandal about the Advent Calendar (I don’t care about that, at all), not because I don’t like her (I do and I admire her), not because I’m tired of her content (well… sometimes but not that much that I wouldn’t watch it later). But because that should not be my focus.

Watching her, seeing what she accomplished, seeing her content, makes me want to have her life. Make videos. Be like her. Do Vlogmas (which filming it is really fun, I can’t say I didn’t enjoyed… a lot!).

But that is not what I need to do. What I need to is follow what makes my heart warm. What makes me smile. What gives me comfort even in the worst moments of my life. What makes me happy.

So let’s let go of what doesn’t help us, let’s let go of the Zoella’s, winning the lottery, Cristiano Ronaldo and Meghan Markle and focus on what we really like to do and make us unique.

And me… I am a blogger.

An amazing 2018 for everyone. That this new year brings all the joy and peace that you all seek. Let’s make it unforgettable!

Unicorn developer by day and a blogger, wanna-be-writer and little business owner by night. 🦄💻💜

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