Euron or Tyrion?

Who had the dumbest moment of “Winterfell”

HBO

Look, it is hard to blame characters for writers and showrunners who have reduced them from full-bodied characters full of motivations and deep backstories down to caricatures.

At the same time, someone has to have had the dumbest moment of episode one, here are my nominees

Runner-Up: Euron Greyjoy

HBO

So, what would you do if your goal was to keep a storyline alive because it makes no logical sense but is necessary to reach the ending…explain it with a bunch of “next-level” crazy exposition?

Yup, and that is what we got when we find Euron bouncing back and forth between visiting Cersei in King’s Landing and Yara on his ship:

So, why did Euron keep Yara, the ONE person who is an internal risk to his crown alive? The ONE person who has stolen ships from him and has turned Iron Islanders against his rule successfully in the past?

Here was the reason:

“If I kill you, who can I talk to. I have a crew full of mutes, it gets lonely at sea.”

Hey, I have a question Euron, if you wanted to have more fun, why not just make a new friend who both isn’t a risk to your crown and whose tongue you didn’t cut out?

You know, literally ANYONE from the Iron Islands who wasn’t a real and proven risk to your crown?

And guess what came of all of this?

Yup, when Euron left to get it on with Cersei, Theon came and freed Yara and then magically they made off in ships with sailors (while the rest of the massive Iron Fleet just let them go…for some reason…that is never explained).

SMH

Remember when Euron won the Kingsmoot and Yara took off with a bunch of his ships? Yup, that Euron is a genius.

I can’t decide what is worse, the contempt Benioff and Weiss show us as an audience or their habit of writing themselves out of corners with stuff that makes less than ZERO sense.

Winner: Tyrion Lannister

No need to wax poetic here. Tyrion Lannister used to be smart enough to nearly fight off an invasion by himself (see Battle of the Blackwater). Now, he has been reduced to a moron.

Don’t believe me?

When asked about his sister, after she literally tried to have him killed almost every day of his entire life, he uttered the following words (to Sansa):

“You have every right to be fearful of my sister, Nobody fears her more than I do. But I promise you’ll be safe.”

Tyrion only exited his one-on-one meeting with Cersei because she needed him to convince everyone on team Daenerys that she was not only of no concern…but that she was actually coming to help them (even typing those words made my start laughing).

Her plan is to either let them be wiped out or to let them win and then wipe out whoever is leftover after the battle with the undead.

Tyrion has become that guy in the gangster movie that the mob boss leaves alive and so that he can deliver a warning to his people. Only in Tyrion’s case he is too stupid now to understand that she has delivered a warning (and not a message of hope).

The real Tyrion would NEVER trust his sister, Tyrion — more than anyone else in Westeros — understands (or understood) the true nature of his sister (I believe he called her the ‘most murderous woman in Westeros’).

He used to pull the strings and now he is the strings.

Sigh.

Honorable Mention: Varys

HBO

I only mention this because Varys used to know more than anyone else in the world. Varys had spies EVERYWHERE and was the man behind the throne. Nobody embodied the Machiavellian world view of GRRM more than “the Spider.”

Now, he shows up on camera every couple of episodes and says next to nothing, or just shows up for parades to get mocked by Tyrion about his lack of testicular fortitude.

In other words, Benioff and Weiss have….’neutered’ one of the smartest and most powerful characters from the books (in fact, read the last chapter of the last book and tell me this makes ANY sense at all).

Sigh (and pardon the obvious pun).

Oh well, it is what it is.

We will see who wins the “prize” next week.

Josh is a 100% reader-funded blogger and freelance writer. Please consider following him on Twitter, throwing a tip into his hat on Patreon, or adding his blog OnPirateSatellite to your feeds. He is also the host of the Decarceration Nation Podcast.